[INT: Teen Girl’s bedroom with posters of boy bands and there’s mostly a cushiony feel to the room filled with pillows and thick blankets and the like with the colors pink and purple dominating. Mostly, imagine something that would belong to Moonunit Zappa in the video for “Valley Girl.”]  

 

[DOOR SLAMS! DAUGHTER enters quickly.]

 

Daughter: (seemingly yelling at the door but it’s kind of implied that she’s actually yelling at something on the other side of the door) I HATE IT HERE! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU TOOK AWAY MY PHONE! MY LIFE IS RUINED!

 

[Daughter falls heavily onto the cushioned bed with her head in her hands and begins “kind of” sobbing mostly in the way that would be designed for attention had she not been the only one around.]

 

 

[KNOCK on the door – three times]

 

 

Daughter: GO AWAY!

 

 

[FATHER is on the other side of the door – he’s the one knocking.]

 

Father: Daughter…

 

Daughter: GO AWAY! YOU’VE RUINED MY LIFE!!!

 

Father: Daughter, can I come in?

 

Daughter: NO! GO AWAY!

 

Father: Daughter, can I come in?

 

Daughter: WHAT DO YOU WANT!?!

 

Father: I know you’re upset about losing your phone but rules are rules young lady and your grades just aren’t…

 

Daughter: …my grades are FINE! There’s nothing wrong with B’s.

 

Father: You know we’re not talking about your grades. You’re a fine student. It’s the grade of the driveway. It’s too steep.

 

Daughter: THEN WHY CAN’T I HAVE MY PHONE!

 

Father: Because you have obviously taken after your mother’s sense of humor. Can I come in now?

 

Daughter: Ok.

 

 

[FATHER ENTERS]

 

 

[APPLAUSE]

 

 

[FATHER stands on the other side of the door but leaves it open.]

 

 

Father: Daughter, did you not get the joke I made?

 

Daughter: I kind of got it but I still don’t know what it as to do with me not having a phone.

 

Father: You really need to lighten up. I took your phone away because I took it to the phone shop to get upgraded to a new phone that’s way cooler than the other one. That’s what I meant when I said, [uses the rabbit ears] “I need to take away your phone to get it UPgraded.” We wanted to do that for you because of how well you’re doing in school and how good your grades have been. But, you chose to go and make it into a big deal.

 

Daughter: No I didn’t.

 

Father: Yes you did.

 

Daughter: No I didn’t.

 

Father: Lighten up, buttercup. Do you remember when you got all upset because Three Penny was open for food service on Sundays from 10-4 instead of 11-4? You wanted them so bad to have them make the best LUNCH they could.

 

Daughter: I remember.

 

Father: Well, when they started serving food from 11-4 again, didn’t that make you really happy?

 

Daughter: I was.

 

Father: Well, I’ll tell you what; this Sunday they’re going back to serving their Beer Drinker’s Lunch from 11-4 and the bar will stay open later than that so you can be happy.

 

Daughter: That does make me happy.

 

Father: And that’s all I’ve ever wanted.

 

Daughter: For me to be happy?

 

Father: Yes, that’s exactly what I just meant there instead of actually admitting that I was actually happy for Beer Drinker’s LUNCH this Sunday and this is probably what the definition of an “aside” could be if done correctly in a monologue.

 

Daughter: What?

 

Father: Sleep now.

 

Daughter: Night Father.

 

Father: Night Daughter.

 

 

[LIGHTS]

 

 

 

 

 

Wow. I’ve been nonsensical before but that was a trip in and of itself. That all happened because I’ve been listening to a lot of Zappa recently.

 

All I really needed to tell you was that we’re going to start being open an hour later on Sundays because you asked us to and that means we’re going to do it. Expect the same awesome menu and everything, just an hour later.

 

 

Now that all of that nonsense is out of the way, here’s what you can look forward to being able to drink from our taps:

 

We’ll have Havoc’s Psychopomp on pretty soon and if this is your first time being introduced please don’t be shy. It’s a newish mead to us that’s made with sour cherries. It’s promising to be lightly carbonated and have a nice balance between the sweet of the honey and the sour from the cherry.

 

We’ve really liked the sour fresh hop pale ales that we’re getting from Hermit Thrush. What they’re doing is taking the freshest hops they can from Four Star Farm and using them in their sour pale ale. Right now we have the one that uses Teamaker hops and the next one up uses Rakau hops. So, you get to try and them and see what that specific hop does to the beer.

 

Also almost on is Burlington Beer Company’s Folk Metal which is good since it’s kind of hard to find a straight forward Oatmeal Stout that’s really good so it’s good that we got our hands of this beer because it’s good.

 

And if you’ve never had Ballast Point Sculpin nitrogenized then you’ll have an opportunity soon as well.

 

 

Of course there’s more to every story and we’ll have many many many other beers on tap for you to have and drink and try.

 

 

But, for this week, that’s about all I’ve got in me.

 

 

Cheers Neighbors,

 

WhenAdidasstartsmakingthesweatersforhockeydotheyhavetochangetheirnametoAdidah? Taproom