Dear Diary,  

The human I have been assigned to is a strange one indeed but he takes me many places and for that I am grateful. My assignments in the past have taken me to a great number of places and some wonderful people have worn me. As a beard I’ve been regenerated in red, white, “salt and pepper,” black and sometimes I’ve been all patchy like and all over the place on a person’s face. Right now, I’m in the “itchy” faze of this particular human and he seems like he’s a good chap so I guess I’m not going anywhere any time soon.

 

Since I am privy to the conversations that he has on a daily basis it seems as though there are quite the number of things that he and I will get to do in the next couple of weeks.

 

For instance, my human is working hard on this year’s Oktobeerfest that will be next Saturday (the 18th of October, or so I’m told). I guess that means that I will have the opportunity to have many different Oktoberfest beers and German specialties running down my whiskers. What I’m really looking forward to is the sausage sandwiches that I keep hearing about. I just hope my human is a sloppy eater.

 

In the mean time I just got to try the beer that is this week’s special tapping. Yesterday, human put this beer on called the Autumn Maple from The Bruery. He’ll be tapping a new beer every Tuesday from now on I guess. But, when I got to try this beer this is definitely the closest thing to a “pumpkin” beer that I’ve enjoyed thoroughly. It’s made with a ridiculous amount of yams, a whole bunch of spices, maple syrup and molasses. It’s higher in alcohol but that just means it’s a perfect liquid as the temperatures drop and as me and my brethren grow stronger and longer.

 

We’ve also (human and I) had the opportunity to try Lawson’s Finest Hopcelot and with it’s awesome piney bitterness and smooth citrusy finish I truly hope for other beards out there that they get to be slurped upon as well. It truly is a wonderful victual.

 

Speaking of delicious foam that leads to delicious liquids: human had a Hill Farmstead Abner the other day and I quite enjoyed that as well. Things are really good being a beard when you get to have Abner pass through you.

 

On top of all of that I’m going to suggest to other beards that await their turn for a different human (while we wait in our reincarnation lobby) to try and get on a face in Vermont. The beer and food here is awesome. In fact, the Taproom where human works just keeps adding all of these wonderful dishes that keep getting stuck in me. And I’m not complaining. With a new pork chop dish, a glug worthy tomato soup and a new oyster Po Boy the one thing that I’m dreading, to be honest, is when human takes his shower or washes his face. I wish nothing more than those morsels to last a lifetime deep inside my follicles.

 

Oh I hope to remain on this human as long as he will accept me. I’m going to suggest moisturizer so that we can remain friends.

 

Aside from that, diary, I will remain steadfast as I have in the past and keep my human warm for the winter that is approaching.

 

Regards,

 

Follicle TPT802

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