I’m the type of guy to wear sandals and/or flip flops and/or thongs and/or chankla and/or jandals and/or go-aheads and/or pluggers and/or slaps and/or step-ins and/or slides when it’s nice outside. And it’s been pretty nice.
That makes me feel like this when I’m walking around town (you should insert that into our daily).
Ok, there’s two things that we have to go over today (in addition to the way I feel and the way that I hope you feel as well):
First thing just so happens to be first, we need to talk about Friday (two whole days from now). It’s a little earlier than you’re used to so you might want to set an alarm.
Not only is it Christsonthy George Kerner’s birthday, it’s also RECORD STORE DAY!
[I feel like lying a little bit today so until I tell you otherwise, everything you read will be a lie.]
That means we’re giving out free records to the first twenty people that walk through the door at 8 AM. The record that we’re giving away is made up of recordings that I’ve compiled of people eating. Well, there’s other stuff on the record but the first 18 minutes is me eating twenty-two pounds of crab legs (Alaskan SNOW Crab Legs – not the Kings – I can eat the snows much quicker as the time shows (this is actually not a lie – it’s much easier to eat the snow crab legs as opposed to the kings).
[Ok, I don’t feel like lying anymore.]
Ok, here’s the decoder ring to tell which part of that sentence is actually true:
It’s ACTUALLY Record Store Day.
The rest is just there for my own humor quotient.
We WILL be hosting Dogfish Head from 12-2 THIS FRIDAY and we WILL have some really special beers from them on draft (2012 Bitches Brew? Positive Contact? No lies) and we WILL have an actual record player to raffle off and we WILL have a record that you’re supposed to drink beer to which almost had me end that sentence in a preposition. And, you might want to mosey on over and say hey to our friends at Buch Spieler Records and get some more records that you can take home when the rest of the world celebrates their Record Store Day on SATURDAY (which is the day after Christsonthy George Kerner’s Birthday and just so happens to also be Rybo’s Birthday as well as the 28th Anniversary of Michael Jack Schmidt hitting his 500th homerun at Three Rivers Stadium in Pittsburg Pennsylvania against Don Robinson with a three and “o” count).
All of that had me greatly trying to not use the word “record” in any other way than actually meaning a flat disc that has grooves in it that, when pierced with a needle, allows music to be heard. We’re talking about actual records here, not the records that can be set for how far you can throw a flip flop and/or thong and/or chankla and/or jandal and/or go-ahead and/or plugger and/or slap and/or step-in and/or slide and/or sandal.
I’m a bit of a word friend if you haven’t noticed and since we’re already all the way all over the place this week I might as well share with you the other two things that went through my head as I tried to not confuse record with record.
#1: Go Hang A Salami I’m A Lasagna Hog.
That’s a palindrome.
And #2: Pack My Box With Five Dozen Liquor Jugs.
That’s a sentence that has every single letter in the alphabet. They’re all there.
Moving right along foot loose and fancy free.
The second thing that I needed to talk to you about was the fact that I really need you to clear your calendar(s) for May 2nd. That’s when Montbeerlier is happening. We’re doing it from 3-9 and there’s going to be live music and it’s going to be, in a word, really friggin’ awesome. Think: Casks, a special beer that the crew and I went to Lost Nation and helped make specifically for the Montbeerlier festivities, Sausage sandwiches (and OTHER sandwiches) and all in all a really fantastic time that all of you already know about anyway and all I really need to do is say “Hey! How are you?” to which you’ll reply “good.” And then I’ll say, “remember how often you ask me when Montbeerlier is this year?” And you’ll say, “I do remember that.” And then I’ll say, “It’s on May 2nd.” And you’ll say “Hey, thanks.” And then we do the dance of joy.
Let’s get to some of the beers that you’ll see on tap either really soon or really soon:
Speaking of Lost Nation: we’re going to have their single hop pale ale made with Mosaic hops. That’s a good thing. When we were up there dry hopping our… (I’m not going to tell you what we made for Montbeerlier, yet)… thing…we got to try this beer and we were very pleased. Ok, very pleased isn’t really that enticing but we did debate whether or not to actually tell anyone that we were going to have it on tap because we wanted it all to ourselves, our precious.
Alchemist Focal Banger: it’s an IPA from this place way over in Waterbury that makes IPAs from time to time. We got our allotment on Monday and we might just have some left if you hurry. It’s in a can. The can is NOT silver.
Hill Farmstead George: It’s happeneding. Soon.
Cuvee Des Jacobin Rouge: a pretty amazing Flemish Sour Ale that you’ve had before and you liked so I asked for more and by golly Zuzu there really is a Santa “Clause” (and in this case the “clause” was intentional).
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.