In all actuality, I’m just like you. Really, I am. I start my day off with a well balanced breakfast of thirty seven eggs, toast made from grain that I grew myself, four stacks of flapjacks and two stacks of pancakes (because there’s a difference) in the shape of Abraham Lincoln all while humming the entire soundtrack to All the King’s Men just before I brush my teeth in a circular motion nine times in each direction with three different teethbrushes just like you do. That is, of course, after I’ve thrown my pants into the air and performed a standing back kick flip twist lunge luger Anthony to get them (my legs) into the appropriate holes and then use the Force to get my zipper up, just like you do. And, just like you, I sing in the shower. Of course my shower is underground and filled with stalactites and stalagmites as it should be. And, just like you (which I shouldn’t even have to say by now because we’re totally on the same page and dancing in the night) I always wish that there were someone, actually a room full of people, to sing with. And while it might get a little awkward having that many people knowing what kind of environmentally friendly hand soap I use or the brand of shower cap I sport it would be great and community oriented.
Well good reader, your wish is about to come true.
[There needs to be some sort of musical introduction here – editor’s note]
Tomorrow night we are completely not transforming the dining room into a shower filled with stalactites and stalagmites. But, we are having Jay Ekis host his SUPER GOLD SING ALONG!!!
Seriously, if you miss this then all of the people that attend it will have to tell you how amazing it was and how much fun they had and they’ll feel bad because they’ll see your face and the situation (I’ve heard it’s called the “Sitch” now? Is that true?) be all like “man, you really should have been there and now you have a pouty face like the pouty face that no one likes to see or make and I feel bad that I told you I had so much fun so let’s just forget I told you and eat caramels REALLY slow and look in separate directions.”
What it is: Jay Ekis comes in and sets up enhanced listening devices known as a Public Address system and then plays his guitar. The songs he’ll be playing are familiar and if they aren’t, he even has hand outs with the lyrics to the songs on it because the lyrics that you thought were in that popular song are all wrong but he’s got it on paper so you can SING ALONG WITH HIM. It’s encouraged and everything.
What it was: nextly, we’d (I’d – let’s be serious here) like to thank the hordes for commencing upon us for our Bigfoot vertical from Sierra Nevada on Monday. There might actually be some left at press time so just try and get here and we’ll just try and take care of you.
What it should be: all right, we might as well stop delaying the inevitable and talk about beer for once, right? Let’s not kid ourselves here.
Here is what is either on right now or what is soon to come:
- Let me introduce you to my good friend the Farmhouse Pale Ale from Oxbow brewing company. Let’s all think about an American Pale Ale. We know it. We love it. We’ve named our kids after it. Now, in a completely weird and awesome twist, let’s think about Farmhouse ales (or Saisons, which are a sublet property of Mr. Farmhouse). Their yeasts are lovely and inviting. I wonder what would happen if someone were to make what could be described as an American Pale Ale but instead of an Ale yeast, they went crazy and brewed it (fermented it, really) with a Farmhouse yeast? Craziness.
- Oh Look! Over there! It’s our neighbor the Stone Levitation! Woohoo! Man do I love his lovely Amber ways. So good.
- What’s that? You haven’t been introduced to the Saxonator of Jack’s Abby? I must remedy this at once. Excuse me, Mr. Saxonator? I see you’re very busy being a strong, malty dopplebock with all your raisiny goodness and all but you must meet our reader at once. This is the reader (psst, that’s you).
- Uh-Oh. Don’t look. OMGLOGFHDKSLLLL! I can’t believe that he’s here. Not after all that leaving us so early last time. Hey Hill Farmstead! Hey George! We haven’t seen you in what feels like a couple of months and we’ve been awaiting your return with baited breath.
Ok. I think that’s enough playing around with words for one day. I promise to be completely quiet for the rest of the week as I normally do after we do our weekly chat. If you see me talking at all, I give you permission to tell me that I told you that I usually don’t speak at all and that I should stop. Until then…
Cheers friends. Be good to one another if that’s your thing (not to tell you what to do or anything but it should be).
The Walrus, the Eggman. Coo Coo and all that.