Normally you and I get to throttle by effortlessly in a world of humor and cunning revelry and I (intentionally) really try and give you some sort of reprieve from your daily lives (I like to go to different places in my mindscape as well from time to time) but you and I have hit a crossroad. This week will be nothing but the information that I must pass on to you because of its’ importance. There’s a lot to talk about so I must get it to you in a timely manner. Therefore, since I take these memorandums as seriously as I should, I will be writing and delivering all of the herein in a single breath. That is, I will write everything that follows the “ready, go” without breathing. That way, you and I will receive and give all of the necessary information and then we can all go about our merry ways and I can start breathing again. I’m really doing this. I have a witness.  

OK.

 

 

Ready…

 

 

 

 

[Takes an exurbanite deep breath]

 

 

GO!

 

 

 

Firstsens and Fortmostensteins, we are going to be closed Sunday (October 5th) so that we can prepare the staff for our upcoming menu changes and fall awesomeness. We’re also probably going to do trust falls off of the bar (as we’re want to do) and then do the whole standing in a circle and then sitting on each other’s knees because we are also want to do that as well. So, sorry, but we’re closed this Sunday.

 

Also, today begins the charity that we’ve come up with called Montbeardlier. You can check it out here. We’re serious and this is for a serious cause. We’re raising money for our friends the Fowlers because they’re our friends and they deserve it. I just shaved this morning and I’m not planning on shaving again until May. That’s the deal. It’s a $50 buy in (all of the money is going to the Fowlers – all of it) and a $100 buy out if you just simply can’t handle that six-month beard. Do it. You look good wearing a beard. If you can’t or don’t want to grow a beard with us then you can click on the link above (where I inserted it into the word “here”) and donate to help out. It’s up to you. But, I think a beard on you would look downright sexy.

 

And, that’s the first time that I’ve used the word sexy, ever.

 

Nextens, I get to tell you that we’re super excited to be rolling out our shinny, brand spankin’ new mobile messaging program. Maybe that name doesn’t sound very exciting, but it’s what all the cool kids in the big cities are doing (so it’s gotta be exciting, right? (right?!)). It’s pretty simple: you use your cell phone to text TPT to the number 30321, we’ll then ask you a couple quick and easy “get to know you” kinds of questions, and then BAM, all will be good in the world. What happens next is we’ll text you (not a ton! just about as often as we email you) with exciting news, upcoming events, and even the occasional discount or promotion. What we won’t be doing is sending you tons and tons of texts that you really couldn’t care less about, and to show you we really mean it, we’ll even ask you what you’re interested in getting- info about rare and exciting keg tappings, seasonal food menu changes, announcements about music and events (and of course you can also choose to hear about all these things). It’s not only easy, but it’s super efficient, too.

 

Over here is where we talk about those keg tappings that I just mentioned in full earnest and detail. Every Tuesday we’re going to start tapping something special for you because we love you. If you sign up for the mobile messaging system (text TPT to the number 30321) you’ll be the first to know which keg we will be tapping. Or, you can just keep reading and you’ll find out that in the month of October, we plan on tapping The Bruery’s Autumn Maple (because ‘tis the season), Smuttynose’s Brett & I, 2010 Maredsous Tripel and Sixpoint’s Bourbon Barrel Aged Imperial Otis. That’s four Tuesdays and that’s…entertainment (earworm).

 

Fourth or Fifsens (I really want to breath again and I don’t have time to count) I wanted to give you a heads up that we’re having another Oktobeerfest celebration on the 18th of October. I’ll go into greater detail in the upcoming weeks but I wanted to make sure that you knew about it and you put it in your calendar because we love Umpa bands and we got one that’ll be playing the back parking lot at 2 PM and we’re going to be serving great food and German style Oktoberfests and Pilsners and all of that beautiful beer to say “so long” to the summer and get ready for the winter ahead.

 

 

[turning blue, he decides to take a breath]

 

Pwew.

 

Other than all that jazz, we do have some beautiful offerings from Hill Farmstead right now that are flying out of here so you should probably come in a drink them: Dorothy (a hoppy Farmhouse pale ale) and Amarillo (a single hop pale ale showcasing the Amarillo hop (it depends on how you want to pronounce it – we give it a Spanish flair)).

 

We also have some Oktoberfest styles that are all lovely and wonderful from the likes of Trapp Family, Zero Gravity and Lost Nation that will be gracing the boards sooner rather than later.

 

There’s obviously others and others and we’re not keeping them from you so you’ll see them eventually.

 

I’m dizzy.

 

I think that’ll just about do for this week.

 

Remember the golden rule (drink beer, not water) and be excellent to each other. Because, Bill and Ted will be by soon and the Wild Stallions will teach us all to be excellent to each other so you should learn how first. Or, did that already happen?

 

Anyway…

 

 

Cheers!

 

 

Stig Severinsen Taproom

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