It is impossible for me to not think about a show that I watched as a child (travel back with me: I’m sure many of you are accustomed to those magical boxes with flips and switches that used to control “cable” televisions. They required you to get out of your chair (or off of the floor where I’m, personally, prone to sit) and actually toggle a switch that would take you to a fairyland known as public television. There were three positions that the toggle could be in (if my memory serves correct) and there were also switches with a guide that could be placed over these buttons, which told you the channel you could navigate towards. Therein, if you chose correctly, you would end up where you wanted to be and could return safely to your seated position.) called “Today’s Special” when I think about what exactly goes on here at the Three Penny Taproom.

 

What happens is very Oz like and very much as if someone (we’re calling her “Jodie” now since it seems appropriate) has placed a cap upon our head and said the magical words (see: the subject line) and then we’re off dancing and prancing and hanging out with a puppet mouse that’s totally afraid of the cat that Sam Crenshaw totally knows that mouse is afraid of but he has the cat around regardless.

 

And, without any inkling of a mention or knowledge of these events beforehand, the magic happens.

 

That toy bell that plays the theme song from love boat? That completely changes into the Stone Levitation and all its’ Amber Ale glory.

 

That crocodile head? It too switches into being the Zero Gravity Nigel, a Baltic Porter (think: Porter fermented with a Lager yeast) that’s blended with ZG’s Old Ale that’s been hanging out in bourbon barrels.

 

Boris the Boar? He goes all chameleon and morphs into the Hill Farmstead George, a fantastic American Brown Ale that has people sending them messages when it goes on so that they know that it’s here and they can come and get it.

 

Frisbees? Those aren’t Frisbees. That’s actually Jack’s Abby’s Saxonator and it’s doppelbock doppelganger.

 

I think you’re all getting the point.

 

What we do, mostly, is prepare everything for you so that when you’re here, the magic can come to life.

 

Won’t you be our neighbor? (I’m sorry. That was a reference to a completely different children’s show during the same time period and I might as well have said “I don’t know” or “Dynomite!” and ruined everything by pronouncing “We're Gobo Mokey Wembley Boober Red/Dance your cares away/Worry's for another day/Let the music play/Down at Fraggle Rock/Boom Boom” but that’s actually past when I was actually watching television so why would I use that?)

 

This all said, I hope you’re all enjoying yourselves and please know that the magic will continue until moral improves.

 

Sincerely,

 

Jeff. (just kidding! That’s a mannequin. We’re actually a Taproom. Silly.)

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