[white screen]

 

[a (seeming) man with a green smock, top hat and overly large head is standing next to a pole that (seemingly) has lights]

 

[ENTER (seeming) man with blue smock from LEFT]

 

[Who knows exactly what the man in the blue smock says but it seems as though he’s upset/distraught about something and raises his hands and then falls to the ground on his bottom]

 

[Green smock man points up towards the top of the pole – the sign at the top of the pole reads “Three Penny Taproom” and then FADES OUT. The number 227 appears.]

 

[Someone from Sesame Street suddenly got this joke and then contacts Three Penny Taproom for copyright infringement. Three Penny Taproom then agrees to include the fact of all of the above being completely ripped off from the original beginning of Sesame Street and the leading up to the greatest song ever written, ever.]

 

Sunny Days Folks! How are you?

 

You and I talk so much about beer. It seems as though we’re obsessed with it, you know? Well, during this time of year it’s VERY easy to become obsessed about a lot of things. I’m not trying to get on a high horse here and try to tell you what to do. If I COULD tell everyone what to do on a daily basis, there’d be a LOT more hokey pokey going on around here (and everywhere else for that matter – it really is what it’s all about).

What I am saying is that to begin our time this week together I just want to be that person who reminds myself in written form out loud that even though it is the time of giving, it is also extremely important that we understand why and who in these equations. I’m a fortunate person. I am loved and give love. I try to surround myself with the people that (selfishly) better who I am as a human walking this great Earth. I am, as I feel we all are, more fortunate than others. This IS the time of giving. This IS the time of the year that we’re all reminded that we should be reaching out to those that aren’t having as good a go at it than we are. And yes, this should be happening on a daily basis, year round. But, this is the time of the year when we all start realizing how cold it’s becoming outside. We all start seeing each other gather at great tables with fantastic spreads of food and cheer. I’m declaring that this is the time of year that we should remove ourselves from those tables (spiritually) and think about those that do not have such things. Ok, the end of my rant is this: if you have something to give, think first about those that have none.

 

I sincerely apologize to anyone who came to this weekly email looking to get blasted with information right off the bat about craft beer and craft food only to have some guy preach at them about giving to the less fortunate. However, who would I be as a human walking this great Earth if I didn’t remind myself first out loud so that you could hear? For those looking forward to what we’re going to have on tap (or what’s already on) for this week, I give you the following words that, amazingly, when put together, will be the greatest thing you’ll read all week (until next week when this guy gets all sappy about something else).

 

[END SCENE]

 

[INTERMISSION]

 

[Act II]

 

Hey Folks!

 

Welcome back! I was just sitting here thinking about beer and what I could tell you about it and stuff. So, here’s a little snippet about what’s going to be gracing our taps either coming up or already on!

 

[HOST raises hand towards a GIANT SCREEN]

 

[Begin Transmission]

 

[VOICE OVER commences while a video is shown of beer being poured into glasses, beer being brewed, people laughing, giraffes, little children playing double dutch and Big Bird]

 

VOICE OVER: The Three Penny Taproom in the luxurious Capital of Vermont, the State, will be showcasing the following:

 

-          Hill Farmstead James: an absolutely ridiculous India Black Ale that makes you think out loud.

-          Stone Levitation: the Stone Brewing Company is known for being VERY “in your face” and, dare I say, “arrogant.” This is where (in your VOICE OVER’S humble opinion) they achieve their great balance. A wonderful American Amber ale that is one of our favorites and sure to do you right.

-          Lawson’s Finest Triple Play IPA: hold on to your horses, cowboy/girl, this will be on as soon as we get it and as soon as it’s ready (side note (otherwise known as a voice over to the VOICE OVER – although he’s doing a great job): keep your eyes peeled for next Saturday (not this one coming up), we have a treat for you in this regard).

-          North Coast Old #38: you’ve had the Rasputin, now visit with his cousin. North Coast also makes a DRY stout to accompany their beefy brother of a Russian. This one is silky smooth.

-          Evil Twin Falco IPA: an awesome rendition of the American IPA styyyyyyyle. It’s much drier than a “normal” American IPA and super crisp. Also, super lovely.

 

Ok Folks! Until then!

 

Cheers!

 

Can You Tell Me How To Get (without being sued)? How to Get to Three Pen-ny?

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