So, I got pulled over by a police officer yesterday. I wasn’t doing anything wrong; I never do. The police officer and I are friends and they wanted to know where I shop for linens as they had an event upcoming and needed linens. My being an expert on shopping was the catalyst for their questioning. But as they were speaking to me I became quite engulfed in their eye-glassware choice. Police officers tend to wear mirrored spectacles and this person was no exception. As I could see my own reflection in their glassware choice all I could think about (I was, at the same time, paying attention to our conversation – I’m not rude) was, “Boy do I need a haircut.”  

 

And then I thought, “and a beard trim.”

 

 

And then I thought about running and that film that I was in that you asked me to remind you about once it went on sale and now that it is on sale I’m reminding you about it and if you’re a good boy/girl and make it all the way through these words to the bottom of this email then you’ll get a COUPON to let you access the film in a cooler way than everyone else.

 

 

Which made me remind myself to mention the new place that just opened up and how cool the folks over there are and how much they like to play games, as do we, and then I finally remembered to welcome our new neighbors to town and let you know about them thusly.

 

Here’s what I remembered to tell you:

 

There’s a new barbershop in town (Montpelier – maybe not in your town quite yet – Oh, that’s in Vermont) called the Myles Court Barbershop. There’s a bunch of good folks over there and when they told me that they were about to do the following I kind of giggled like someone who doesn’t (or maybe does) either use the word giggle or actually giggle themselves: they do shaves.

 

As in, your face.

 

My face too but they’ll also do your face.

 

 

Why is that such a big deal? Have you ever had someone put a towel on your face and then shave it for you? There’s two other things that I can think of that are better than that and one of them is hockey. Go Flyers.

 

And, I mentioned games so I’ll explain that here: at the end of your cut/shave/style (it’s a unisex shop – they shave women’s faces too if that’s what you want to happen) you’ll be given three pennies. The person that serviced you will also have three pennies in their hand. You’re going to want to shake the pennies in your hand to get them all mixed up like and your serviceperson will do the same. They’ll probably blow on them for luck. You’ll then place these pennies onto a counter. Then they will as well. If your pennies match their pennies (as in, if you got two “heads” and one “tails” and so did they – that totally discounts the trick that you were going to pull and say “well, I have three pennies and they have three pennies and they match because they’re all pennies”) then you have just won a $15 gift certificate to Three Penny. I did not come up with this idea. I’m not that smart.

 

Then, and only then, you can name your haircut “Arthur” just like George Harrison did in that film that the Beatles (Beatles with an “a”) did.

 

 

And that’s when he started talking about running. I’ve been known to run long distances with my friends. I said “known to” because I’m “trying to” get there again (aren’t we all). One year, one of my best of friends (still does) ran 100 Miles. He’s done it a couple of times since because he an animal trapped in a human’s body but for one of those attempts my friends (being the advantageous crew that made them my friends (cough cough – “conceited much?”) in the first place) decided to make a film about it. Well, that little “project” just so happens to be the most decorated Ultrarunning film of all time. Serious.

 

Full disclosure: I’ve seen the film probably close to 75 times or so. I’ve seen it in the varying levels of completion and well, I was kind of there that day (as you’ll see when you watch the film) so to watch a movie that’s basically documenting an event that I was present for is kind of redundant. But, in all seriousness, I cry every time I see the film. Not all out sobbing or anything but I get “choked up” or something like that. I’m not the only one otherwise I would think that something was wrong. I cried just thinking about it just now so maybe there is something wrong.

 

Here’s the spot to click on to send you to the trailer: spot.

 

Here’s the thing to click on to send you to the place where you can buy/watch/rent (apparently, that’s a thing now) the film: thing. Because I love teasing myself and the best friend that I’m not married to we’ve decided to name the code “doughy” and that’ll get you 20% off of digital sales and rentals.

 

Here’s a picture of a spirochete: Love, Ralph.

 

Here’s where I talk about beer for once in my life:

 

Have you tried the Oxbow Grizecca? If not, it’s on tap for you to try and it’s a wonderful Grisette which is basically named after the ladies who would hold trays of refreshing beer for miners in Belgium. They wore grey frocks. “Gris” means “grey.” Basically. Anyway, consider this a “light” Saison. And that’s about as vague that I can be for the moment.

 

And what about the Rising Tide Maine Island Trail Ale Ale? This beer comes from Maine and is known to be strutting around town as a Session IPA.

 

And why didn’t we hear about that Zero Gravity Keeper yet? Because patience, people! Jeez!

 

Well, that beer is a Biere De Garde. What that means is that it’s a “beer to keep” (hence the name) as it’s usually a higher alcohol pseudo-Saison (pseu pseu pseu-Saison) that was destined to have some age in between packaging and your mouth holes. And since we all know from class today that Zero Gravity basically kills every style they intend to make with like gorilla grip strength in numbers, we’ll all be rest assured that this one will taste great AND be less that troublesome for your fillings.

 

 

Ok, I’ve wasted a little bit more of your time that you’d like me to this week. And, if anyone got that Simpson’s reference, two points to you.

 

 

Cheers!

 

 

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