This week, dear reader, I am going to be absolutely truthful with you. Not that I’m usually lying to you (please understand that) but I just want this week to be complete with utter truths and factoids filled with truth serum syrup inside of a genuine doughnut making it drip honesty all over your pretty (they are VERY pretty) chins that hopefully doesn’t end up staining your shirt. Therefore, I look to history to get the job done.
So, I’m going to give you a honest-to-goodness history of what Halloween is all about. I should know; I have a degree in Halloween History and Schematics of Spookdom from Harvard Law of Business School On Line Masters Program Offline. What I’m about to get into is absolute truth and should be taught to children.
The very first Halloween commenced in the village of Freightgeit in the Town of Collegean, city of Luxenging, district of the Whole Unicorn, Germany being the country.
You see, the young children of the town were very wealthy (internet, go figure) and they needed a way to distribute the wealth to the other people of the town without them feeling like they (the other people) were involved in some sort of charity. So, in their weekly town meetings (the children) while they bathed in their own gold coins (Scrooge McDuck styyyyyle) and discussed their plight, the children (led by the redundant leadership of George Von McSylvertrainovich) decided that they would adorn themselves in sheets to hide their identity and hand out their gold coins to the town in hollowed out pumpkins (which they invented – pumpkins). And that’s that.
Don’t go everyone thanking me at once because I just bathed you in the truth shower that was my words.
And that’s the ABSOLUTELY PERFECT transition to start talking about beer isn’t it?
We’ve got some of that Jack’s Abby India Pale Lager (not the Ale) that’s got a lot of hops in it from the Australia place called “Aussie Rules” and it sure does. Anyone who’s a fan of hops from Australia (specifically the Ella, Topax and Galaxy hops) will love this crisp lager with the huge citrusy and earthy bite from said hops.
We’ve also got that Sixpoint Imperial Otis that spent some time on Bourbon Barrels and in its truest form is a Stout made with Oatmeal, which makes it an Imperial Oatmeal Stout that’s aged in Bourbon Barrels.
We’ve also got something coming up that you’re going to like called Backwoods Bastard from Founders Brewing Company out in the great place called Michigan. Speaking of Bourbon; bask in the Wee Heavy Scotch Ale that was this beer before they Bourbonized it. Actually, you can’t. They’ve already Bourbonized it for you.
And, for next week’s Tasty Keg Tuesday (TKT) at Three Penny Taproom (TPT) we’re going to be tapping Hill Farmstead’s Nelson (Sauvin) single hop pale ale. Usually, we’re reserving the TKTs for bigger beers that might actually last a week but, well, this will not. And that’s the truth; Ruth. So you want to get down to the Taproom next Tuesday (the 4th of Novembeer) and try to be one of the people that actually gets to drink one of these.
Either way, I really hope you all take something away from this little email that I’ve set up for you. And, if you have any comments or concerns about the validity of any of these arguments I suggest you use your “Google” “toggle” and “look” it “up” for “yourself” if it so “pleases” you.
Sam Hein Taproom