Data Entry: Wednesday, September 3rd year two thousand fourteen.


The plan is seemingly working up until this point. If you’re reading this then my confidante within the walls of the greatest taproom ever to exist has broken the code to the interwebs and has translated this message correctly into words that take less time to read them as opposed to what I’m making them do to translate the encryption.


The gentlemen that I work with believe that I am on vacation. Well, I am...physically.


If I am nothing more than this, I am a very patient man. I play REALLY good practical jokes because I don’t really feel the need to be there when the joke goes off. I once rigged up a jack-in-the-box to take precisely two thousand and seven turns in order to go off. I watched countless people continue to wind and wind and wind the lever with no effect. It caused most people to think that I had, in fact, broken this relatively new jack-in-the-box that I had made out of old watches and a boxing glove set on a hair trigger with a repurposed slinky. The “toy” was left in the corner for about a year with various “new” people trying to get it to go off. I’ll tell you this: whoever was the person who triggered that boxing glove (I wasn’t there but I heard back that my “toy” was fixed – had me a chuckle that day for sure) got a pretty big surprise. I wanted it to be kind of like an “Arthur from the stone” thing. That person, after the swelling had subsided, probably felt pretty special that they got it to work.


Well, that’s what I’m doing here up in the woods of Maine. I’m plotting for your enjoyment. I’ve stashed various different beers to come on at precise times so that you can drink them and be happy. That’s my modus operandi.  


So in the next couple of days, these are the beers that you will be seeing “popping” up for your awaited mouths. I have to say it; take your turn (get it?).


-       Shacksbury Ciders The Basque: you’ll be seeing more and more ciders as we go along and this one is nothing short of amazing. Unfiltered and employing a natural yeast, this is a rustic cider from our friends in Shoreham.

-       Lagunitas IPA: I love classics, as I know you do too. In my mind, this is a completely different take on what the “West Coast IPA” style became popular for “back in the day.” Much more crisp than its counterparts, this is a beer that if you haven’t had it in a while, you should revisit it.

-       Allagash 2012 Fluxus: POP! A Belgian Style Strong Golden Ale brewed with a blend of barley and spelt and spiced with green and pink peppercorns. That’s what’s up.

-       Jack’s Abby Berliner Lager: The good folks of Jacks’ love to take their Lager brewing expertise to other levels. This one is as if they made a Berliner Weisse (a sour, tart experience made by “souring” the mash) but fermented it with a Lager yeast.


Ok. I think that’s about all I’ll make my cohort translate for you. If any of you remember the coded message email that I sent out a little bit ago, well, that’s what I’m making them do for this entire message to you. So, cheers to them for the time spent on this.


I might be back next week: I’m not sure. I’m having a little too fun hanging with the Mrs. and gallivanting over the mountains of Maine. But soon enough we will want to do the same in our great Republic and we’ll get homesick.


But until THAT happens…


Be kind to each other and hold the doors, all of them.




Three Penny Daydreams of Proenneke


End Data Entry. Time 13:47:89.