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Softball

Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you...

[phone ringing]  

[SFX of a VOICE coming seemingly from nowhere when, in actuality, it’s coming from a little box with a miniature cassette tape inside of it. Some would know what this box is because when they go back in their memory they too had one of these machines in their house/apartment. It’s called an answering machine. Back in the yea-old days of yore people didn’t have telephones on them at all times and in order to reach another human that you wished to communicate with it was necessary to find yourself located in your own house/apartment and use your own telephone in order to, what was called, “call” them. [interior comment by Super Ego #5: “we” think it’s really funny when someone tells another human that they should “hang up” their phone. Newsflash: there’s no need to hang them up anymore, we’ve surged past that.] If that person with which you yearned to speak to was not present (or attending to some other form of busy nature) you were given the opportunity to “leave a message” after a mundane tone. This is the SFX we’re talking about here. It’s the voice coming from the answering machine.]

 

VOICE: Hey, thanks for calling. We are unable to get to the phone right now [not spoken: this also never happens anymore. Right after this I’m going to change my voice mail message on my cellular telephone to say, ‘Hey, thanks for reaching out. I keep my phone on vibrato and didn’t feel it. Leave me your name, hat size and a brief undergarment and when I look at my cellular telephone next I’ll see that you called.’] so if you tell us what’s good and what’s up we’ll spit at ya whenever we receive this message.

 

SFX – MUNDANE TONE.

 

OTHER VOICE (the voice “leaving” the message): Hey Jim and Mindy and Scout and Jerry and Lewis and Boxcar and Napkin, its Jim and John from the Three Penny Pirates softball team. We were really touched that you came out to see us play last night and hope you all had fun because we think it’s a lot of fun, which is why we do it. Most of us were athletes throughout our lives and like to get together with other people in similar fashion and do, you know, athletic stuff. Men’s League Softball, played at the Dog River Fields, is a great demonstration of team play and good sportsmanship all the while providing an actually REALLY entertaining sport to watch. And, our team is pretty good and we have new uniforms this year to go along with our new hats and we look really good. Also, when we have fans there, such as you all coming down last night, it makes it all the more fun for everyone. So, yeah, um, thank you. And, if you guys are around, we’re playing a bunch of more games in the next couple of weeks such as, well, tonight for instance at both 7:15 AND 8:15. Um, OK! See you around! Have a great day!

 

SFX – A TELEPHONE HANGING UP AS THEY WERE ONCE WONT TO DO.

 

ENTER JIM carrying a VERY LARGE SNAKE. He’s petting it.

 

JIM: Oh hay Boxcar; looks like someone left us a message while I was taking you for your daily walk around the cemetery. I wonder who it was left by. Let’s play it.

 

SFX – JIM LISTENS TO THE MESSAGE IN ITS ENTIRETY.

 

“Hey Jim and Mindy and Scout and Jerry and Lewis and Boxcar and Napkin, it’s Jim and John from the Three Penny Pirates softball team. We were really touched that you came out to see us play last night and hope you all had fun because we think it’s a lot of fun, which is why we do it. Most of us were athletes throughout our lives and like to get together with other people in similar fashion and do, you know, athletic stuff. Men’s League Softball, played at the Dog River Fields, is a great demonstration of team play and good sportsmanship all the while providing an actually REALLY entertaining sport to watch. And, our team is pretty good and we have new uniforms this year to go along with our new hats and we look really good. Also, when we have fans there, such as you all coming down last night, it makes it all the more fun for everyone. So, yeah, um, thank you. And, if you guys are around, we’re playing a bunch of more games in the next couple of weeks such as, well, tonight for example at both 7:15 AND 8:15. Um, OK! See you around! Have a great day!”

 

JIM: Well that was very nice of them, don’t you think Boxcar?

 

THE SNAKE DOES SNAKE THINGS

 

JIM (cont’d): Maybe we WILL go down to their next game. I think we’ll leave you here that time; you weren’t very popular after you started in on the pole that holds the bench for the players to sit up. Getting you off was difficult. Then, I’ll take Mindy and Scout and Jerry and Lewis with me to the Three Penny Taproom, namesake of the Three Penny Pirates softball team. There I’m going to eat a really ridiculously good Porcetta Sandwich and get some pretzel rods. Their taplist is really nice right now and has transitioned into the kinds of beers that you’re going to want to drink in warmer weather. What kind of beers are those you ask, Boxcar? Well, the Zero Gravity Gose is one that sticks out first. Their version of the Tart Wheat with Coriander and Salt is very quite good and is actually an absolutely perfect beverage to drink after exercise mostly because of the salt part. And, this time of year, sour beers tend to quench my thirst better than most other things. For that side of the spectrum they have Base Camp’s Bretta Livin’ with Apricots, Almanac’s Tropical Platypus with its wine aged sour with citrus fruits stuff and they also have Poo-Tee-Weet from Hermit Thrush, which is a little drier than the other ones but it’s still PRE-TEE-SWEET if you ask me! Right? HAHA!

 

THE SNAKE DOES SNAKE THINGS

 

JIM (cont’d): Or, if I’m not really in the mood to decide on things because I’ve been outside all day in the hot hot heat then I’m just going to see if their staff have any recommendations because they’re always really good about being awesome and that’s why I go there anyway. Last time I was recommended to try Lawson’s Finest Fayston Maple Stout, which I hope they still have on. It was lovely. Then I had a bottle of Backacre that I love so much and then I was really happy. It made me want to kiss your brother, my pet frog Napkin. Say, where is Napkin anyway, I haven’t seen him in a while.

 

THE SNAKE BURPS.

 

 

END SCENE.

 

 

 

Somehowthismakesmebellylaughprettyhard Taproom.

You Loved It (at some point).

So that I can get this out there right off the bat: we’re hoping (I’m hoping) to reach out to everyone and see what some of your past favorite “Daily Burgers” are. You know that we put creamy peanut butter and pickled hot peppers on our burger every Friday but we’ve done some really great ones in the past and we’re basically taking a poll to see which ones you liked the best. So, just email me (kevin@threepennytaproom.com) what some of your favorites were and we’re going to do something really special with the data. How did we (I) arrive at this need?  

I never thought you would ask…

 

 

 

You could say that I’m a fairly learned (pronounced “learn-ed” – not trying to be condescending – that means I “talk down” to people (c’mon – that’s funny)) individual. I’ve been known to read the books and share my thoughts and analysis and interpretations in scholarly pursuits (not so much anymore – this right now, what you’re reading, is how I equate in my brain that I’m using the education in this medium) all the while trying my best to be completely intelligent about the subject and objectively handle the matter in order to “journal” the findings. For instance, and this is for another time and place (email me and I’ll let you know details) some of you may know that there’s a children’s book out there that I will never (speaking in hyperbolic fashions today because they fit well and have a good piece of cloth) read to a child due to the content and subliminal teachings of said book. I was and am unashamed of taking a stance that is not popular in order to prove a point important to me all the while backing the argument with concise details. I’m saying all of this because the following might shock you; it might make you not like what I say but you’ll have to hear me out and see.

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t believe that the Hambuglar was a good role model.

 

 

Exhibit “A.”

 

No one is questioning the Hamburglar’s intentions here. He wants to steal things. He wishes to take what is rightfully yours that you purchase with your hard earned money without exchanging anything for it. That’s the definition of “stealing.” Granted, the suffix “Burglar” should have been an obvious flag for anyone questioning his motives (which are to STEAL THINGS). My problem here is that the Hamburglar is a character, a children’s playmate for discovery. The fact that he is dressed like a burglar helps little and freshly developing minds to connect with his intentions helps his own cause but is this really what we want to teach our children, well? (get it?)

 

The major crux of the situation is thus: in exhibit A you will see Mr. Burglar’s attempts to take something which is not his. He tries multiple times and I’m not really sure how he doesn’t hurt himself after he slingshots himself from a tree but that’s besides the fantasy here. After these multiple attempts and upon succeeding the taking of things (in this case: hamburgers from a global chain not mentioned) he is, at the end of the argument, handed a hamburger by another character with silly hair.

 

How is this making any sense to children?

 

Are you telling the kinder that if they attempt to steal things that are not theirs they will be awarded with a portion of the very thing with which they attempted to take?

 

Does the fault lie with him or with the man with silly hair? He’s the enabler.

 

And what about the large purple thing? As a bystander they do nothing to either aide nor halt the actions of this nefarious criminal. Should the fault lie on Mr. Purple’s shoulders (someone should think of a name for that purple thing – he looks like he’s either smiling a fake smile or completely unsure of his surroundings, resulting in a face that looks like something I can’t quite put my finger on at the moment).

 

These are questions that keep me up at night people. Because it’s about the KIDS!

 

 

That’s why we’re (I’m) hoping to get your two cents on what were some of the “standout” Daily burgers that we’ve had here. You might just see them again if you respond to me with the ones that you liked so much they are now making you think about our hamburgers, which makes me think about beer because hamburgers remind me of grills and grills remind me of summer and summer reminds me of baseball and baseball reminds me of freshly cut grass which is a component of smell attributed to certain types of hops which somehow reminds me of beer.

 

So here’s some things and stuff:

 

  • We are very happy to be able to put our friend’s beer on tap soon. It’s Deciduous Brewing out of Newmarket, New Hampshire and we’ll be starting off with their incredibly hard for me to spell word but it basically means tasty Berliner Weisse with Mango and Lychee. I’ve been able to have a couple of Deciduous beers in the past and I’m excited to share these with you. Deciduous means that it sheds its leaves annually but you knew that.
  • Speaking of New Hampshire and places that I’ve stood in we can also mention Schilling Brewing out of Littleton (very pretty there). Right now we have their Konundrum on tap which is a very nice and TART pale ale (you need to know that it’s tart, otherwise you’ll read “pale ale” and be completely off guard when push just came to shove) and soon we’ll be pouring their Grotius, which is their Abbey Style Dubbel (think middle ground in the “body” category with candy sugar remnants). Both of which are very nice and you’d like them, they share many personality traits that match your coat.
  • We will be, very soon, pouring Hill Farmstead’s Shirley Mae on NITRO which is their Session Porter on NITRO and it won’t last long because it’s on NITRO and people are just going to flip their ghoulish gourds over it. NITRO.
  • Idletyme’s Vanilla Porter will also be on tap at the Three Penny Taproom in Montpelier Vermont as well and it’s basically the best Vanilla Porter you’re gong to find so since I just gave you directions you can use those to get down here and get some since it’s mud season and vanilla porters were practically made for mud season (that at least SHOULD be the case).

 

 

Cool.

 

 

I look forward to hearing from you, specifically, about what your favorite Daily Burger was so that I can hear from you.

 

Cheers,

 

 

Hockeyhockeyhockeyhockeyhockeyhockeyhockeyhockey Taproom

For the love of the game...

Well, you asked for it…  

If you’ve come here in search of what Three Penny Taproom might be serving this week or soon and all you want to know is what we’re going to be serving this week or soon you might want to (you probably should and I never like to “should” on people) scroll to the bottom to where it says, “FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO SCROLLED DOWN TO THE BOTTOM TO READ ABOUT JUST THE BEERS WE’RE GOING TO HAVE ON TAP SOON START READING HERE:” because this is about to get long and may be like an inside joke to most people who don’t read these things on a regular basis. But, please feel inclined to join us.

 

FOR ALL OTHERS – AWAY WE GO:

 

Many of you have asked (and if you haven’t asked then, well, you’re getting this anyway – it’s like that moment where you’re thinking about something completely random and a friend comes up and hands that exact random nugget to you – I’m that friend right now) about the whole “Flyers” thing and the “Rick Rolling” (of which I profoundly announce that I mistakenly invented many a moon ago) links that I’ve been putting in these emails and our blog (I put this on our blog too – so if you ever get lonely and want to, know you, read all of these, they’re well documented on our website) regarding going to a hockey game in Montreal a couple of weeks ago. Well, since we had the Peche Mortel event and the Cider Week event I haven’t really been able to answer your call about what that was all about that I alluded too for WAY too long of a time but you have to give me credit for being excited about and wanting to share.

 

Well, you asked for it…

 

So I went to Montreal, Quebec, Canada to watch the Philadelphia Flyers play the Canadians of Hockey Club of Montreal. I’m not going to give you a play-by-play of my entire trip, only the part that actually relates to maybe something you’d want to know. The night (ok, truth be told, I was there at 9 in the morning and was told that no one can get into the stadium until 6 at night (18:00). Not even to watch morning skate at 10 in the morning. Not even if you ask really nice and translate English into French in your phone with as many pleasantries that you’re expanded vocabulary can think of and not even after you told the nice man that he has handsome eyes.) of the game I arrived at the Bell Centre (that’s how it’s spelled! It’s much different up there) at 4:30 (16:30) and stood right in front of the door that I assumed would open for me to be able to go watch my Flyers. After about thirty minutes I realized that they were not, in fact, going to open the doors early for me (at least I tried) I decided that I had time to go to a local bar that I’ve heard about and have a beer while I wait. I had decided that I wasn’t going to imbibe a lot before the game so that after I could meander around the city and try out some newer places that I had yet to be inside of until that point. But, I also had a plan in action.

 

You see; I’m a Flyers fan. I’m from the area of the United States (I’m a citizen with BOTH a passport and an enhanced Identification Card) where sports (especially hockey as hockey fans have tendencies to be a little bit more “Fan”atic than other sportsens) are more than just beating-chest-gladiator-screaming-for-the-red-knight-at-the-Medieval-Times-kind-of-fans. Hockey’s kind of intense. Fights are known to break out on the ice and in the stands. When I was a child my father or uncles or Nan would kind of try to shield me from them happening but I watched them nonetheless and I’ve personally been to about (give or take) several hundred games at the Spectrum in Philadelphia. People get angry with one another and they’re (in their brain) fighting for their colors (colours in the Canada) or their team. Well, I love the Flyers, but I’ve moved on to another part of my life where I’m not all that interested in fighting someone because of it.

 

But, I wanted to root for my team.

 

Like, hard; I wanted to be able to yell for my team as loud as I wanted to or were able to until my voice filled the stadium, until the Captain looked up in the stands and thought, “Cool, Kerner’s here. I’m going to play EXTRA hard now.”

 

So here’s the plan (it’s nothing new – I’d seen in done at the Spectrum a dozen times when someone new comes into the section you sit in with an opposing team’s jersey on – but not the Penguins – you can’t do that): I was going to purchase as many beers as were legally available at the stadium and, after the anthems were sung (I simply love the Canadian National Anthem – I love our National Anthem too – but, I really need to learn theirs by heart, I felt like an idiot not knowing it by heart) I had planned on handing most of the beers purchased out to the people around me, assuming that they were going to be rooting for the Canadians.

 

So I asked the man behind the concession stand how many I could purchase since, in the States, they usually limit you to two or three at a time. He said, “as many as you have the money for.”

 

I bought eight.

 

One hundred and forty dollars later (I think I’m the only one who’s ever tipped that man) I was on my way to my seat. This being my first live Flyers game in almost 15 years I did not skimp on where I was to sit. I had my favorite chair; third level, first row, center ice. I put the two compostable and made of recycled cardboard beer carriers (I got tall boy cans of Molson Canadian (fitting) if you wanted to know and you should know since it’s important later – the Alcohol By Volume of this beer is about 5 percent) under my seat and waited.

 

The anthems came.

 

I felt dumb for only knowing the words to one of them.

 

Everyone sat down.

 

I reached under my chair and pulled seven of the eight already opened beers out and looked around for people in Canadians jerseys to hand these beers out to, starting with behind me. Well, behind me was a girl’s hockey team from upstate New York where the median age was about fourteen. No, I didn’t not hand them beer.

 

I handed the seven beers out to the people in my row and they were all initially puzzled but soon accepted my offerings with a whole lot of “merci” and a little bit of shock. They probably weren’t talking about me in French but they were sure gesturing in a way to make me think that they were saying, “silly American trying to buy our love away from our beloved team.” I wasn’t trying to do that. I then explained that I am a Flyers fan (I didn’t wear any paraphernalia because I didn’t want to wear it after the game about town (especially if we won)) and that all I wanted to do was to watch hockey and cheer for my team.

 

Good plan in action, eh?

 

I had kept one of these beers for myself as my “game beer” to be drunk in thirds for each of the periods of play.

 

The first period came and went. The Flyers were playing well.

 

At first intermission I and my new friends all got up to use the rest rooms and/or eat four hot dogs (I’ll let you know I did a little of both – ok, yes, I ate four hot dogs – I needed some sort of base in my stomach because I had forgotten to eat dinner in my excitement and I had planned on having beer after the game and beer on an empty stomach is a rookie mistake and I’m not Shane Gostisbehere (Ghost Bear to you) or else I’d be a way better skater) and returned to our chairs for the second period to begin.

 

That’s where my plan backfired.

 

Well, you can’t call it “backfired” because that would imply that something bad happened. Nothing bad happened. I was just a victim of my own generosity.

 

Each of the seven people that I handed a beer to before the game came back to our section and handed me a beer in return; every single one of them. That is to say, I bought eight beers with the intention of handing out seven and keeping one for myself and now, at the start of the second period, I had eight beers under my chair, all opened and all but one of them were Molson Export (7 percent Alcohol By Volume).

 

I did what anyone would do.

 

I tried my hardest to be gracious to my new friends and finish their gifts. It’s how I was raised. You finish what’s handed to you.

 

In all, I had three total. But, for those that know me, three seven percent ABV beers (in pint sized format) on top of the beer I had before the game and the other beer that was going warm that was 5 percent ABV, will know that this is a good deal out of my “norm.” I love beer. I’m not a lightweight. But I usually like to stick in the 5 percent range so that I can have more of them. Because; I love beer. And, usually I’m not drinking that amount in an hour.

 

I can’t say I was drunk. But, I can say that I usually don’t like hugging but I got a LOT of hugs that night from my new friends. By the end of the game (the Flyers lost in a shootout which meant that I got to see overtime 3-on-3 live – which, was awesome regardless of the outcome) we were all just straight up hockey fans. And, it was more about the fact that we “bonded” over being able to share something with another person. It was more than just about beer and imbibing and hockey. It was the fact that there was about fifteen of us in that row and by the end of the game, regardless for who we were rooting for; we were embracing like hundred yearlong friends who’re out for a night on the town.

After the game we waddled out of the stadium and one of my new friends invited me to go to a bar with him and his lady. I had to decline. I wandered the streets and took in the culture and signage of this newish to me city, ultimately stopping about two hours later into an Irish Pub where I knew I could get a cream ale on tap. Having that pint I realized that I was still in a foreign country and my uncomfortablilty in public stretches beyond the borders. So, I returned to my hotel room and played mandolin (I’m teaching myself mandolin) and watched the game that I was just at on television in its entirety in a language that I can’t speak fluently.

 

Maybe this is self-serving to write this out for you but maybe this answers the questions that I’ve heard recently about my incessant mentioning about the hockey game that I was going to in past memos to you. And, maybe I didn’t have much to tell you this week so it gave me a perfect opportunity to be able to answer those questions. Either way, that’s the answer.

 

I had a great time, thanks for asking.

 

 

 

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO SCROLLED DOWN TO THE BOTTOM TO READ ABOUT JUST THE BEERS WE’RE GOING TO HAVE ON TAP SOON START READING HERE:

 

Here they are!

 

  • Idletyme Weizen: this beer sells really really well because it’s really really good and very much so true to form. A VERY (I’m low on adjectives today, apparently) amazing and awesome and cool and neato Hefeweizen with all of it’s slightly spicy and bready awesomeness.
  • Zero Gravity Mr. Black: you may not know what a Schwarzbier is when you see it on the board but that’s going to change because you’ll have this little nugget of information in your head when you actually do read it: it’s a black lager, which is a little toasty and roasty but not really over the top but it retains the crispness from the lager fermentation.
  • Schilling Modernism: speaking of dark things, this is another type of dark lager but more in the Czech style than the German style that Mr. Black falls under. Also known as a “TMave.” I personally distinguish this dark lager as being less roasty and toasty than a Schwarzbier, therefore requiring it’s own style in the times when styles need to be defined.
  • Les Trois Mousquetaires: more than just a really fun word to type this is their Doppelbock, just in time for the Spring that is springing upon us today. I hope you’re feeling it too. So, think big and malty and brown in color (or colour as this is from Quebec) with a good amount of warming alcohol.

 

 

That should wet your spring-whistle, which is a word that I just made up and can now be plagerized (notice I spelled plagiarized wrong? That’s so you can steal it and not have it be correct).

 

My Best To You All,

 

 

Waitingforsecondseason Taproom

Subversive but transparent...

I need help, folks. Well, in more ways than one but this time I just need assistance in a specific avenue that requires assuage. You see, I want to get into marketing, specifically slogans that we can use here at Three Penny. The catch is I am a stickler for not using something that’s already been used before; I don’t believe is making people chew the same piece of cabbage twice, you know?  

So I need something that’s finger-licking good. Something about eating fresh, something that explains what we “got.” I mean, we’ve got almost 50 Billion Served by now so that should warrant us talking about how much people are loving it. Maybe something musical? Something that goes “dum dum dum” at the end of the slogan so that people get used to that tone over and over again and it’ll just keep going and going and going and going. Or maybe a picture of a little girl carrying an umbrella that is seemingly protecting her from the fact that it’s raining salt on her and that can’t be good. Or, just straight up “Taproom Taproom” or “Yo quiero Three Penny!”

 

But something tells me there’s no such thing as an original thought and that those have been done before. So, I guess I just need to think different and just do it. I mean, once the ideas come to me they’ll just pop and I won’t be able to stop. But how do you spell relief from that? I mean, you’ll be in good hands but where’s the beef with the content of our message? I love chicken too and I love liver and somehow I’m just going to have to deliver for our customers. What would YOU do for the Taproom bar?

 

How would you market that? I mean, I think we’re grrrrrrreeeat! I think you do too. So maybe I don’t need to quit my job and go back to school for marketing and advertising and walk a mile for a camel just to come up with a good slogan for us. Maybe all I’ll do is dress up in all red with big red ears and a white belly with a weird mask and make pizza cold. Maybe that’s my angle. You can have it your way that way. Cool. That’s what I’ll do, I’ll just keep on keeping on and go with the flow and let you know what we’ve got for you in terms of beer.

 

 

Thanks for your help. I needed that.

 

 

So I’ll market the fact that we have a wonderful Kolsch (don’t call it that! It can’t be a Kolsch unless it’s from Cologne!) on right now from Ballast Point out of California. That’s where it’s made. And then we get it and then you drink the loveliness that is this straw colored ale brewed basically like a light and airy pilsner. Let’s call it a “Kolsch Style” so that person who speaks in parenthesis doesn’t come back (works for me).

 

Zero Gravity Double Down will be on soon as well and it’s not very often that we have a Double IPA from Zero Gravity and if history has proven anything to me it is that you should never wage a land war in Asia and always know that whatever Zero Gravity makes in golden like the town in Colorado (Color – A – Do).

 

Hill Farmstead Susan is on and should be for a couple of days but don’t wait those couple of days because it might not last for a couple of days and it’s an American IPA but you knew that.

 

We’re also pouring Lost Nation’s The Wind, which is perfectly marketed as their Gose that’s been dry-hopped with grapefruit and Citra hops. Because, that’s exactly what it tastes like. Man I love their Gose.

 

It also Gose without saying that we have the Dirty Mayor going on soon as well and that just about makes you the happiest person in the room reading this.

 

 

 

Well, folks, thanks again for all of your help. I’ll compile all that was said during the creation of this memorandum and get back to each and every one of you individually so please let me know what time(s) work for you. K?

 

 

Sincerely and Accordingly,

 

 

Justbehappyididn’tdothisentireemailabout80sdowopBillyJoelyou’vebeenwarned Taproom

 

 

Mr. Parentheses Guy wants a Post Script: (thank you. It should be mentioned that there’s about 24 references to Advertising Slogans and the like up there if you feel like counting. Also, I just made up a new word today; it’s called “plagiarism.”)

Comment

The Boring Post.

Ok.

 

 

I’ve written this email to you about four times (not speaking in hyperbole) and I’m really having a hard time being clever and witty. Maybe it’s the heat. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m not really a witty and clever person sometimes and sometimes you just have to have the facts laid out and discuss them. I mean, I would want to read something that just let me know what’s going on so I can go about my day and get stuff done. Because, who doesn’t like to get stuff done? I mean, it’s summer, there’s plenty of things to do outside so why is this guy keeping you from doing things outside right now? Geez. This is where I (as a modern typer on modern typing things) would use an acronym describing something that establishes my fervent desire to be understood. But, I’m not one to use them.

 

If you did need something to do outside that doesn’t really require much except for watching things while sitting outside let me suggest this:

 

http://www.wicomicorecandparks.org/images/stories/activities/softball-men.jpg

 

That’s a picture of men playing softball.

 

I’ll be the first to admit that it’s a lot of fun.

 

 

It’s also a lot of fun to watch.

 

 

And, did you know that Three Penny (GO PIRATES!) has a team and that they wear orange? Did you know that orange is my favorite color?

 

So, the next softball game for the PIRATES! Is today at 6:15 and then they also play at 8:15. Then, next Monday they play at 6:15 and 7:15. They do all of this down at the Dog River Fields. It’s awesome and you should go and watch and cheer those guys on because I’m sure you’d recognize a lot of them and they’re really great guys and you should go and cheer them on because they’re awesome.

 

Also, I know what you’re NOT doing this Sunday. You’re not coming to Three Penny because we’ll be closed to let our staff hang out with each other outside and play games.

 

Cool, so we’ve got this far. GO to the softball games and cheer those guys on and DON’T come to Three Penny this Sunday because we’ll be closed.

 

Got it. Check.

 

What’s next?

 

 

Oh yeah, ok, beer:

 

Let’s get on that. Here’s the beers that are either on or on deck just waiting for you:

 

Hill Farmstead What is Enlightenment? Good question. Great beer. You might be aware of another American Pale Ale made by this brewery but have you tried this one?

 

The Bruery Hottenroth Berliner Weisse: oh man (as Mirabelle would say) do I love Berliner Weisse’s in the summer. These tart and sour ales are perfect when watching a sunset in the warm months or awaiting a thunderstorm, which we haven’t really had many of yet.

 

Lawson’s Finest Super Session #2: you know what I like better than Berliner Weisses in the summer? Session IPAs made by Mr. Lawson. Session means that it’s light on the alcohol but IPA means it’s perfectly hoppy.

 

St. Bernardus Wit: if you were wondering what a Belgian Witbier tasted like, then this is your chance to answer that question.

 

Rising Tide Daymark: a Rye Pale Ale from our friends from Maine. This is one of those beers you forget how good it is until you’ve tried it again. That’s why I brought it in. That’s why you should drink it.

 

 

Ok. I think next week I’ll be witty enough for you. I apologize for my vanilla flavor (flavour?) and ask for your forgiveness.

 

 

 

Seriously, forgive me. I’ll know that I’ve received your forgiveness if you email me directly (kevin@threepennytaproom.com) and tell me a joke.

 

Here’s my joke for you that I’ve been laughing at all day:

 

“Who is the Rorschach guy and why does he insist on drawing pictures of dogs playing poker?”

 

Cheers friends,

 

The Not So Clever Taproom Who Is Apologizing Too Much But At Least Has Decent Grammar

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