Something that most people don’t know about me (OOH! I LOVE this game that you didn’t know we were playing!) is that among other things, I’m quite quiet on being an expert on dancing. And, with this newfound nice weather and me seeing a lot of people frolicking all over the place I figured that I should spread some truth blankets on what some of these styles of dance are and how they should be preformed.  

All of this (the under said) is coming from someone who has about 36 years as a professional amateur dancer and concert performer in the parking lot. So, that being said, you should totally trust everything I say because I never ever lie to myself and I’m basically just letting my brain go here so I know that it’s got to be the truth just like everything you read on the internet or so says Abraham Lincoln.


I’ll take you chronologically through time starting with the roaring twenties (since all dancing prior was undocumented by the internet so it probably didn’t exist either).


The Charleston: this is a very complicated dance requiring some actual memorization and a little bit of rhythm. If you don’t have rhythm then you can find it at your local bowling alley, which is where I purchased mine. You can really get the gist of the dance here.


The Lindy Hop: as far as I can tell this had something to do with Charles Lindbergh and people flying airplanes. It originated supposedly in Harlem and had a lot to do also with Jazz music (true AMERICAN music). That’s about all I know. Again, I’m a professional here and that’s about all you need to know about dancing the Lindy Hop expect for it’s really tough to do well. Just look at these people.


Country Line Dancing: makes Country music more interesting. Since everyone expect for this nice lady and this lady is singing about pick up trucks and driving in the mud and sunshine and drinking beers and wait, what’s wrong with country music if that’s what they’re talking about? Moving right along.


Locking: no movement for like two seconds and then MOVE and then no movement and then MOVE because it’s like playing Red Light/Green Light with a four year old.


Popping: don’t even bother because you’ll never be this guy. And, if I know my dancing correctly (judging by the twenty minutes I spent researching this all on Google) “popping” is something that that guy did.


Popping & Locking: you know, when you want to show off and do both. That link has nothing do with popping and locking but that’s the guy I think about when I think about both popping and locking and at the same time because I like that guy. He’s like a modern day person that’s kind of renaissanceish.


Moshing: that thing teenagers did before Facebook. You know, the 90s way of getting “your frustrations” out.


And, finally:


Gangham Style: because you should be riding a pony that is invisible. That’s how you do it.




If anyone is reading this and is all like “you’re making fun of dancing!” I just want to cue you in on this device that I’m attempting called “sarcasm” which usually looks like I’m making fun of something but in actuality I’m letting people know how incredibly difficult these things are and that you, as well, should love Patsy Cline. So, no offense meant. I’m just here to talk about beer.








In all seriousness here folks, this is what we’ve got going on soon at the taproom so you should check it out and dance your way in (whatever way suits your coat).




First kind: Crop Bistro!


Second kind: Ballast Point Longfin Lager.


Both will be straw colored crisp lagers with a little breadiness but all in all really refreshing and low in the alcohol department.



Maine Ram Island Tea Mead: you’ve asked repeatedly for this so you’re requests (non-musical) have been answered. You’ll remember this as the Honey Wine (Mead) made with black tea, lemon and mint. That makes is good. Well, it was good before hand but that also made it good to put something else into it.


Hill Farmstead Dorothy: a wheat farmhouse ale that’s been hangin’ with some good yeast and then it showed up and you got excite.




Alright kittens. I’m not really sure why I chose dancing as a theme this week. I guess I’m still waiting for y’all to send me an idea and then I get to play with that idea. But, until then…




In Kind Regards,



If you made it this far, you should probably check out this video and give it the time and headphones that it requires because it’s fantastic; Taproom.