Today I’m going to answer the question that I get posed the most. Today is the day that you’ll get to read the answer on whatever electronic devise that you just opened this email on. Today is the day that I write down my plagiarized answer that has been carefully mimeographed from the piece of paper that I’ve hand written this note and then read it aloud to a reel to reel recorder and then played that recording back while I type the words out on a typewriter before I do the aforementioned mimeograph onto a borrowed computer screen which, by osmosis mostly, get translated into computer words and then sent magically through the air ultimately landing on whatever aforementioned electronic device that you’ve just opened this electronic mail on.
Here’s the question:
“Quist te huc adducit?”
Seriously, that’s the most frequent question I get asked.
What can I say? I’m part Luddite. I hang out with a lot of people who use Latin in place of modern English.
Do you want to know what the second most frequent question I get? Well, you kind of have to because now you’re at the mercy of my words. I’ll translate this one for you.
Here’s the question:
“What’s on tap?”
This really isn’t the second most frequently asked question that I get. I can’t lie to you.
But, I think you know where I’m going with this. It’s time to talk about what beers we have for your glorious mouths. Well, I’m glad the question got asked and I’m even more gladder to tell you what’s the what.
Since you asked I should mention that we received a little bit of the Hill Farmstead Walden and we couldn’t be happier. It’s a fantastic American Blonde (who doesn’t like a Blonde – question mark) Ale and it tastes like you remember what it feels like to be really hot and jump (not just going in inch by inch) into a cold body of water. I should also tell you about the Belgian Wit that you’ll see soon from St. Bernardus because that’s a really nice beer. While I’m at it I should mention that there’ll be a couple of different Saisons on soon that are perfectly lemony, awesome, dusty (good), barnyardy, yeasty, can I get an Amen amazing. One is from Zero Gravity and the other is from Allagash; both of which are our friends and we like what they do. What I’m NOT allowed to tell you is that we are getting some great things towards the end of the week from some of our other friends, which will go immediately on tap as they walk through our doors. That way, you’ll get fresh beer. There’s nothing better in this whole wide world than fresh beer. There might be something but as of press time and for the sake of my fingers moving so effortlessly over the typewriter keeps right now (this is a alteration to the original hand written piece of paper – I call it “jamming”) I can’t think of something quickly. I just know that fresh beer tastes better than other things.
I also know that we love you and we wouldn’t want you to have anything but the best.
(Also a “jam”: I’ve just written this entire thing in rhythm to all of the songs that have come up on Huey Lewis and the News’ Pandora© Radio Station. By far the most fun: Higher Love by Steve Winwood. You’re welcome for that earworm.)
That higher love you’ve been thinking of Taproom.