I used to play Billiards a lot. I played pool too but mostly I played Billiards. I’ve played both in a great number of different places and there’s reasons why I don’t play that much anymore but that’s really not the point of me telling you or even referencing pool or Billiards (or why I keep feeling the need to capitalize the “B” here) in the first place.
My point with telling you (or bringing it up in your brain so that the picture is beginning to become pixelated) about all of this is the fact that, generally, pool tables (and, for the most part Billiards tables) are often placed in precarious places. They take up a lot of room so, a lot of times, the tables required to play this game are put in the most logical places and the day is called. The most diabolical of devices is born of this necessity.
It’s called the short stick.
You see, most of the times, the tables are too close to a neighboring wall and a stick half of regulation is required to actually make the shot and not look like the Eiffel Tower trying to actually make the shot. The stick looks like a normal stick, just shorter.
That’s what I think about when I have things to tell you that I should just tell you right off the bat and try not to be funny/entertain you. In my brain I’m telling myself to “just use the pointy end of the short stick.” As in, let’s just get down to “brass tacks” and “get this show on the road” while I “show you the ropes” and “throw things against the wall to see if they stick” just before I “throw you to the wolves.”
So here’s the pointy end (I have a name for the other end as well, and we’ll get to that later):
Our kitchen will be closed this Sunday. The bar side will remain open and we’ll have all of the beer/wine/haveyoueventriedthecocktailsthatwemakebecausewe’reallreallygoodatmakingcocktails that your big heart could lust over. It’s been a long winter and we have to close from time to time to do the things that we cannot do while we are open so we’re going to let the kitchen close for the day and then reopen it on Monday. We’ll have peanuts in case you’re really hungry.
Want to know what I call the other end of the short stick?
Of course I call it the “bastard” end.
There are some times (which comes into one of the reasons that I had to stop playing so much Billiards/Pool in the first place) that I would play the entire game with the bastard end of the short stick and it made me smile to do so since Billiards/Pool is all about manipulation and geometry so when you’ve taken precision out of the equation, things get a little interesting.
This week we’re calling me talking about beer the “bastard end” of the “short stick” since I’ve already used the “pointy” end.
Here come the bastards:
Fiddlehead Second Fiddle: Vermont is not known for fantastic Double IPAs said no one, ever. Moving along…
Urban Farm Fermentory Amalgam: if you take a really nice Cider and mixed/blended it with a really nice Kombucha, you would have an “amalgam” of the two, making a separate product from the other two, wouldn’t you? Yes, you would. That’s probably why they gave it that name. Just a guess…
Smuttynose Smoked Peach Weisse: you should think about a Berliner Weisse, that’s where this beer starts. Then, you should add a little smoke to it (NOT TOO MUCH) and then while you’re making a beer anyway you should probably add some peach to it. That’s the time that the Hokey Pokey comes in handy (left side first)…
Crop Bistro Weizen: we love our friends and we love it even more when a style is absolutely “nailed.” Crop’s Weizen is one of the best that’s out there and we brought it in so that you can drink it and completely agree with us because we’re always right, always…
Sorry that I haven’t been too funny recently. I’ll try and do better next week. Otherwise I guess that’s about it for this week.
Be Well, Do Good Work and Keep On Keeping On (I didn’t want to get sued, that’s why I stopped right there)…
You’dthinkthatbynowIwouldhaveatleastplayedonegameofsnooker Taproom (I haven’t – not a single game).