Generally, when applicable, I try my hardest not to lie. I feel it only fitting and necessary to do so since you all are just so special to me.
Unless it comes to being funny; that’s when I’ll lie through your teeth if I have to and I realize that we (you and I) almost just ended that sentence in a preposition so it’s a good thing we caught it before we just embarrassed ourselves (it’s the little things that I do for you that make me come back).
Recently (and if you know me in real life you’ll already be sick of me talking about this but I felt it necessary to share with you because I like you and you may or may not have heard about this yet) I arrived at the opportunity to be able to change the wording on the screen for the people who receive telephone calls from me. That is, right now, whenever I call someone my name comes up on his or her screen. I believe it’s called “caller ID (I have no idea what that stands for).” But that’s just boring.
So I’ve come up with a couple of things that I can change it to so that whenever someone receives a phone call from me they get to see that their call is from:
- Nature (it’s for when, you know, Nature calls).
- The Wild (Jack London would appreciate this).
- London (because I know that “I” would appreciate someone calling me and me being able to say, “I’m sorry, I have to go…London’s Calling).
- Me Crazy Butt (I’m the one calling you crazy, but…)
- Your Mom (again, I’m sorry, I have to go…your mom is calling).
And, my personal favorite: Future You (just because I think every time I called someone new I’d yell “DUCK!” immediately after they picked up the phone).
So, I guess it should be just thrown out there that if you ever get a phone call and the caller ID says, “Future You” and it isn’t me, you might want to listen to what they have to say.
Well, “future you” was at the launch of LORD HOBO BREWING COMPANY THIS FRIDAY where we had Boomsauce and Steal This Can on tap with the Hobos in house to celebrate their imminent conquering of the Republic of Vermont. And they want you to know that if you haven’t yet tried anything from Lord Hobo Brewing Company and you like your beers with a little bit of hops in them (that’s a weird lie known as a “sarcastic lie,” they’re very well known for making VERY hoppy beers) then future you thinks that that thing you were planning on doing Friday can wait a little so you can get you some Hobo. So, I would suggest listening to everthing that future you is telling you to do.
As far as other relative material this week I’ve already told you how I became a jazz fan so I really didn’t have to go into that detail. BUT, we have LIVE JAZZ again this SATURDAY! This time the iteration is of the Bronstein/Carr/Morse variety and will kick off somewhere closer to 9:30 in the post meridian as opposed to 9:30 in the ante meridian.
It’s also worth mentioning that you got your friend/boss/mother/mail delivery person/chiropractor/stranger who you met upon the street by chance to separate glances met/dog washer a Gift Card/Certificate last year and they really appreciated it. So, go ahead and do that again. You’ll be popular and someone will take you to prom so you don’t have to go with your friend and wear one of those fake ribbons as a corsage (truth – at least for me – at some point that night I also got into a fight with a dozen roses – truth – at least for me).
As far as beer is concerned for this coming week we’re looking like we’re going to stop pouring beer because that was so last year but that’s a lie. Here’s what you can look forward to (in addition to the Hobo beers):
- Maine Beer Company Lunch: it’s hoppy. I thought it was way too hoppy for what it was described to me as but it was good nonetheless. Someone told me it was water and my palate might be a little skewed but it tastes way more like an incredible IPA to me…I could be wrong.
- And whoever told me that I could like a Double Alt beer from Lagunitas is totally lying to me. It’s delicious. I don’t know that they were talking about.
- And, the Frost Beer Works Really Pale Ale that everyone told me I wasn’t going to like it? They lied too. It’s fantastic.
- Oh, and we decided that Lost Nation’s Mosaic should be poured again to see if we like it this time. You know, we had so much of it and drank a bunch of it and it was fantastic but it’s always best to be thorough we these kinds of things.
That’s a good little snippet for this week so keep in mind that there’s other people out there and those people like gift cards because they’re nice and you like them.