[British Voice] Everyone in? Yes? All right then; pencils ready…
There’s a new policy that we’re going to implement here kiddies that involves you. Firstly, there a bit of an event in and of itself going on right now that you may or may not be into. It’s called the World Cup and you may or may not be following. If not: no sweat my pet, here’s a nifty solution to your worries:
The new policy is that you must laugh.
Smile a little.
Everyone happy now?
Now that we’ve got everyone laughing and playing around and having a good time I would like you to come with me on a little journey. Imagine that you’re floating along on a spiderweb. This web is very sticky but very secure. You might even fancy yourself a spider. Historically, spiders are actually REALLY good luck in breweries and it’s bad luck to do harm to a spider within the brewery compound. There; now you’re good luck.
We’re going to need some of that.
You see, we’ve been nominated in two pretty cool contests that we’re going to need some help with. The first one (the first link that I’m going to put in here and let you click on) is ultra cool. Draft Magazine is doing this thing that they’re calling “Keepers of the Craft” which is basically trying to find out which beer bar is the best in the country. They’re doing this in conjunction with Pilsner Urquell (which you might have heard of). The winning bar (as voted on by people who click on the link, follow along and click on Three Penny Taproom (that’s us)) gets a really cool gift to share with the people who voted for them. It’s a barrel of unfiltered, unpasteurized Pilsner Urquell. If we win this, you will get to drink it. That’s pretty cool. Also cool, winning the “best beer bar in the United States of America” tag. That would also be pretty cool. It’s a good thing for you that I don’t use abbreviations, otherwise that would just say, “best beer bar in the USA” and that’s not as effective. Also, until someone invents a way to use White Out™ on a computer screen, you’re stuck with me saying all of these things.
Here’s the link and thanks in advance:
It should be noted that in the first round we bested on of our most revered and beloved bars, The Blind Tiger in New York City (notice I didn’t abbreviate). That’s an extreme honor and we’d love to keep going. So, if you think we’re a more complete (I’m not saying better – the contest is for the beer bar that has the best taps, the best bartenders and the best beer) than the Great Lost Bear in Portland comma Maine then please help us move on.
The secondsies part is the most beloved in all of Vermont. Yes, the Daisies (presented by Seven Days).
We’re in the final rounds of a bunch of different categories and we’d also love your support there. I know this is a lot to ask but, well, we love you and we’d love to have you love us back electronically. There, I said it. I love you. And, since I can’t erase something that I’ve already written electronically, it stands as truth. That is, until someone invents a type of devise that can erase something that you write with a computer.
So, here’s the link to vote for us and our friends:
Just because I’ve already included a bunch of different links here and I felt it necessary to give you something that’s a little more light hearted, here a picture of two polar bears cuddling:
Let’s talk about some of the beers that we have on tap right now and coming up that you’ll get to drink before we win the Keepers of the Craft contest and you’ll get to drink a barrel of unfiltered, unpasteurized Pilsner Urquell:
Smuttynose FrankenLager: oh, you know, just a hoppy lager from our friends at Smuttynose. Some will try and call it an India Pale Lager instead of a hoppy lager and we might too.
Allagash Confluence: oh, you know, just one of the finest American Wild Ales you can find: all of that Brettanomyces and all of that goodness.
Sixpoint Green Mountain Man: Oh, you know, just a Brooklyn NYork (I tried but I just can’t) brewery using hops from our great state of Vermont. It’s an IPA times two and it’s tasting lovely.
Hill Farmstead Everett: Oh, you know, it’s just the finest American Porter that is made in America.
And, you know, we have others too. You just have to vote for us to find them out.
Cheers friends. Be good to each other and be happy always.
Unabashedly Promotional Extremely Thankful And Humbly Yours Taproom