Viewing entries in

HOT JAZZ! And, curation...

Just to let you all know: WE HAVE HOT LIVE JAZZ THIS SATURDAY, THE FIRST OF THE MONTH WITH THE LIKES OF CARR, MORSE AND SELLENRAAD!!! They’ll probably start around the tune of 9:30 at night and they’re really really amazing. So, if you like incredible music, you should make it a point to be there.  

And that’s where I let the right side of my brain take over:





To the person who has taken over the duties of curating the tap list, allow me to offer a couple of pieces of advice from someone who has been doing it for a while. Thank you for your work and I hope you take these words to heart but with also a piece of “thanks for the words dude but I found a better way” in you.


With that being said, here’s what’s worked for me:




Firstly, listen to this VERY LOUD while you pour over the chalkboards.


Next, assign yourself a clipboard, one of the long ones, preferably with some sort of profanity written on the back using one of those label making machines that you bought with the intention to actually get your space organized but you, in certainty, just labeled unnecessary things like water bottles and, well, clipboards. Also, you will need something to write on. If you’re smart, you’ll get a legal pad that either is the same length as your clipboard or one that’s a little shorter. If you’re REALLY smart, you’ll get a legal pad that either is the same length as your clipboard or one that’s a little shorter. The second time around is meant to let you know that you should probably get a shorter than clipboard legal pad.




The point is, be prepared. Write down what you have currently on tap and then lay out what you have stocked to come on when something kicks. Once you have your inventory locked in, it’s time to choose other beers and ciders and kombucha to replace the beers and ciders and kombuchas that you will no longer have once the vessel that they are in are empty.


This is called “curating.”


It’s kind of like an art gallery that you get to drink. Well, not you, someone gets to drink it.


The thing with curating is that you want the ability, at any given time, for a singular person to walk through the door and have something specifically available for them to choose that’s going to blow their beautiful minds.


That’s the trick.


Well, that and you need to really serve the beer. You’re not going to serve hoppy beers ANYTHING but fresh. Serving a month or two (or, gasp – MORE than that – it should be illegal – and, whenever the Beer Police actually is formed I think you’re going to see some crack downs but for now we’ll just have to weigh on moral and professional values) hoppy beer is not doing the customer OR the brewery any favors. That beer isn’t the way in which the brewer who spent eons getting that beer to be what they wanted it to be should be. Beers like Saisons or Imperial Stouts or Barley Wines actually like a little age to them so keep that in mind as well.


So, here’s the setup, ask yourself these questions. And, if you can answer yes to ALL of them, you’re well suited to having everyone happy, which is the point, right? [editor’s note: the named beers that we, Three Penny Taproom, have on right now for you will be in brackets (“[ ]”) next to the questions so that we can be as transparent with you as possible.]


Do you have?:


- Something hoppy but not high in alcohol? [Hill Farmstead Edward – upcoming: Lost Nation Mosaic]


- Something “light” like a Pilsner? [Green State Lager from Zero Gravity – not everyone is in on Craft Beer – some people like the light lagers of yore – that’s not a bad thing – it’s your job to introduce everyone to something they may like – GSL is a fantastic representation of a Pilsner and could be a gateway.]


- Something malty/amber? [Smuttynose Old Brown Dog does the trick here.]


- Something really hoppy? [Lawson’s Sip of Sunshine and Hill Farmstead Abner/Society & Solitude while we have it.]


- Something under $6 a pint? [This is a big one. Your doors are open to everyone. The $6 pint is something that has become something of a rarity these days, which is kind of a shame, especially in beer bars. Beer can be expensive to buy as a business in order to serve your customers. Beer can be not as expensive as the other ones. Plan accordingly and spread the margin, that way, your prices are fair for both parties. But, always have something that helps your customers first; right now we presently have 12 out of our 24 at or under $6. You’re welcome.]


- Something in the Belgian category? [Allagash White for the time being but we’ll have Hill Farmstead Dorothy and Anna on tap fairly soon – also, Allagash White is under $5 a pint with the tax and everything.]


- Something like a Porter? [Mayflower – one of the best available]


- A Stout? [when available, look for Dry Stouts, they go over well. But, Imperial Stouts are very popular as well and can be aged. So, order two, pour one, put one away for the instance that you need a stout.]


- Gluten Free? [in this town? Absolutely. Always have at least one cider on tap [Citizen Unified right now] but try and give options, like having more than one. Also, drink nothing but Gluten Free Beers for about two months looking for one that rises above the rest. Then, try and make sure it’s available readily. In my research, Groundbreaker IPA is the best. We have that now.]


- Something Sour? [Cuvee des Jacobins Rouge and Rodenbach Alexander right now with Almanac Honey Lavender de Brettaville fading fast (selling quickly)]


- Pale Ales? [galore.]


- Lastly, because of the state that you’re in, always have an IPA, a standard to which all others can be judged. I’ve chose Smuttynose Finest Kind because it’s really hard to find one that you can get on a regular basis that is as consistent and as defining as it is. Sure, you’ll have Susan and Mystic Mama from Jackie O’s on, but what I’m really saying is having an IPA ready for when you’re really busy and your customer is in a rush and all they blurt out at you is, “IPA.” (It happens) They won’t be disappointed.



That should be a good start.



Just remember, bringing in the beers that you want to bring in because they’re the shiniest and trendiest out there is great and you’ll have plenty of time to do that (and make sure you do your research); establishing a complete vision is more important than shock value.



- end –




Well, that didn’t go as intended. I didn’t mean to be that serious. That’s what I get for letting righty take over…


So, for an apology, check THIS out.











We're hunting rabbits...

Let us start your day off with something that, if it doesn’t brighten your world for at least eight minutes, then I’m really not sure how to actually get through to you people (I say that in the nicest way possible – it’s not like I use the term “you people” very often (actually, when I do, I usually use a comma)) and try to shroud you with the blanket that is called “happy.”  

Watch THIS when you have a minute. We’re about to go into detail so, in the immortal words of the bunny itself, “speaking in confidentiality, SPOILER ALERT FOR THE REST OF THIS MESSAGE.”


Why are we watching this today?


A couple of simple reasons, actually. First, this clip aired for the first time on this date in 1940 and thus, a star was born. Although his name was never spoken or mentioned during their original scene, Bugs Bunny got his start. Second, I have a background in Children’s Literature and have over-analyzed countless numbers of books and things that people read to those humans whose brains are still developing (should be noted: never stops – but, children are more apt to have something shape them than a full grown human brain and it’s important to send them subliminal messages, apparently). Never, in my years of over-analysis, have I even thought of doing so with cartoons. What an idiot I was/am.


But the real reason to watch this today: it’s really really funny.


I mean, immediately, you get to see a very young Elmer Fudd (how young he looks! The camera must have advanced in its technology throughout the years to be able to add five pounds because it doesn’t here) talking directly to the camera. That’s breaking the “fourth wall” almost as soon as the character is introduced, which begins the need for you, the viewer, to become involved and invested within the confines of the script. And, you should also be apparently qwuiet, very very qwuiet.


Music. Notice how the music is “made” for the script and the action on the screen. Yes, that’s exactly how it used to be with directors and producers sending music along with the films in order to score the show live, but, this is pin-pointing the exactly movements, making the scene play and dance. I could probably write an entire piece on the movements used in the sound effects alone but in the interest of time, we’re going to move along to the fact that A BUNNY JUST TIED A SHOTGUN INTO A BOW!


That’s crazy!


Also, a talking rabbit? Yes, there’s a talking rabbit in the world now. Your mind is blown and now you’re going to run around the world asking just about everything “Eh, What’s up Doc?” And, it’s going to be hilarious because you have a tendency to repeat things that this point in your development. If you’re beyond those years, you’ll probably chuckle to yourself for remembering that you used to (either subliminally or subconsciously at this point) go around asking “what’s up” to just about everything and including the word “doc” in there.


Then, there’s humor for the adults at the time because when Bugs covers Elmer’s eyes and asks “guess who?” he gets four guesses out of him.


First guess.


Second guess.


Third guess.


Forth guess. (I couldn’t decipher what he said and I tried)



All wrong.



Then the rabbit tricks Elmer AGAIN and this time with a skunk and it was, as well, funny. Suddenly, Elmer has a brand new gun out of nowhere and “shoots” the rabbit, ends up feeling bad and then goes away, basically tarnishing himself for the desire to kill a rabbit but ultimately will try again when it turns into duck season. And, just to be sure that we have something to leave by; we see a rabbit play a carrot like a flute. Keep those imaginations running kinder!


The end.



This has absolutely nothing to do with beer.


As it shouldn’t, really, it’s about the kinder. But, hopefully you have some sort of deep down connection with watching cartoons and hopefully this made you smile because that’s the intention.



As far as beer IS concerned, we’ve been really really trying to tap this new beer from Lawson’s Finest Liquids. It’s called Idaho 7 and it’s a single hop IPA from one of our favorite brewers of India Pale Ales (among other styles). It’ll be on soon, that’s about all I can say. We have five gallons so, well, some of you will be able to try it and some will not. It’s not because we don’t love you all, it’s just the way the world works.


We’re also getting a very good amount of variety coming down from the Hill the end of this week so those will trickle in throughout the next week or so.


We have a REALLY awesome Saison from Zero Gravity on right now and that’ll be good to drink on a nice and warm day.



And, I want to end our time together to let you know that we’re going to be VERY busy on August 19th. It’s a Friday. We are going to do something we generally don’t really do that often and it involves the words “tap” and “takeover” and we’re actually going to “tap” things and then “takeover” the majority of the boards with two VERY great breweries that you really can’t get around these parts. Stay tuned. I know who the two breweries are and if you say “swordfish” to me on the streets, I’ll let you know. By the way, “swordfish” is always the password, always.











Well, I don’t know what y’all do before you go to bed at night or even in the morning if you work at night and have a different schedule than most (I’ve had all schedules in my life and know the struggle of working at night and having to sleep during the day time, if you want to, if you want to) but I, for one person that gets to interact digitally with you once a week, listen to music.  

I find that music is like most things; there’s always a way to compliment life. Beer is no different. Or, if beer isn’t your thing, ice cream then. It’s completely and really all about complimenting the life that you have and the part of the day depends on the way in which to augment or sprinkle a dash of friendly companionship to have a shotgun-riding co-pilot.


Before we start talking about the new collaboration between (betwixt? No, it would be between) Tired Hands Fermenteria and Hill Farmstead (of the Bend Greensboro), which is called “Karma Emulsion” and how it really IS a seemingly perfect marriage of Hill Farmstead Edward and Tired Hands HopHands, which are both American Pale Ales in their separate day jobs. And before we start talking about the Almanac Hoppy Sour with El Dorado hops (one of my favorite hop varieties) and before we start talking about the Lawson’s Finest Fayston Maple Stout with Coffee that will hopefully be on soon as well as a VERY special offering coming from the Lawsons’ the end of the week and before we start talking about the really rare Flanders Red coming on soon from Smuttynose that spent three years in oak waiting to be the sour love in your life and before we start talking about the Lost Nation Gose that’s so amazing on a hot day like today and before we start even trying to discuss the Il Padrino sandwich that we have on now that makes my mouth water just thinking about the fact that it’s a pressed sandwich with our house chorizo and has a great blend of sweet and spice; we should talk about two or three little snippets of music that I’ve found recently that are really really good.



Part 1, in which Doris gets her oats:


THIS is the link. You should take the time to check it out before reading the rest; it’s about 10 minutes. I watch it just about once a day and keep pulling nuances from it. There’s a really good reason he won the MacArthur Grant. From the fact that he chooses a simple (for him I’m sure), melodic, traditional piece and morphs it into an incredibly beautiful rendition of a Radiohead song (which was NOT designed for a mandolin) to the fact that he pulls the greatest trick a musician can pull: play soft and your audience will be forced to listen. By playing the waltz first, perfectly, he allows himself to do the cover with an audience that’s paying full attention to what he plays. It’s brilliant. Have fun. Cheers.



Part 2, which is not safe for work and uses some fairly harshish language but I’m more focusing on the beat here, mostly the way in which it changes in the “bridge” section of the song. I got turned on to this song and put it on my running mix (I have one of these – also known as the greatest invention in the modern era and no, I have not played Pokeman Onward and don’t really intend to but you should deduce from my song selection that I do not judge so if you do play that game I love you just the same) and it’s infectious. I should also say that it’s not really safe for work (NSFW) and uses some fairly harshish language but I’m more focusing on the beat here. Oh, yeah, the song, HERE it is, have fun, it’s just a song.



Part 3, in which Doris has her oats and is no longer hungry:


THIS song is one that has eluded my ability to understand how to replicate it. I’m also a musician (it’s like saying you’re a runner – if you run, you’re a runner. I play instruments; it doesn’t mean that I’m the greatest guitar/banjo/mandolin player in the world but I’ve been known in common circles as someone who can play music) and spent a good deal of time “covering” songs for other people to listen to but I have ONE stipulation when it comes to playing someone else’s song; if I can’t sing it either as good or better than the original (or if I can’t find my own voice within the song and make it a little bit “my own”) then I will play the melody instrumentally. But, with this song, I’ve had more trouble getting the rhythms to match with some semblance of justifying the need to play the song in the first place, let alone trying to emulate the melody with respect to the original voice. He’s just the best. You can always pick his voicing out of a line up and say, “yeah, that’s the Blues Boy King right there.”




There you have it y’all. This thing is supposed to be about beer and stuff and today you got more stuff than beer.



Andtheywouldntgiveittoandre3000? Taproom




Post Script: and if you didn’t know, today was the day, in 1969, that there was a human that walked on the moon. I’ll always remember that snippet because, growing up, we would always make that joke on my brother’s birthday. Because, it’s the same day as the day in history when humans put one of our own on the Earth’s moon. For those that know my brother he’s a pretty fantastic specimen of human. He’s a visionary, someone who sees opportunity in almost everything, who sees good in all people, who can always walk into a room and command attention. If you see him (which at times gets difficult because he’s so busy that sometimes “seeing” Scott is more like a blur), wish him a Happy Birthday. There’s not many people on the planet Earth that deserves it more than him. Tell him I love him while you’re at it. I’ll do it too but you should probably do it as well.

Straight, no chaser...

I’m trying a new approach. Some may read these and appreciate the fact that I try and be at least a little bit entertaining (trying) and there are those who probably don’t read these because I’m trying (trying) to be TOO entertaining. Well, that doesn’t get you here to see Jazz on a Friday night now does it?  

So that’s what I’m going to let you know; we have the Mike Lorenz Trio here on Friday night and they’re incredible. If you’ve been in our establishment (which, if you’re on this list, the probability of you having been here is one I’d place bets on and I’m not a betting man (with money anyway)) you know that our dining room in smaller than a concert venue. To be able to see the Mike Lorenz Trio play LIVE HOT JAZZ on a FRIDAY night at 9:30 should be something you’d be into because they’re awesome and it’s basically like a private concert that we’re not charging you for and a great tap list to choose from while watching HOT LIVE JAZZ.


I really want to get the word out as much as possible so we’re going to leave it at that.


But seriously, these small little concerts are pretty incredible and intimate.


And, if you haven’t tried our Summer Menu yet then you haven’t had it in the past so let’s make the present work and your future will thank you.



That’s what I got for you this week, folks. As always we’re going to have the absolute best of the best available for you at all times from our beer selection to the liquors we carry to the wines we bring in to the food that we take care of preparing for you and that’ll never stop.


We’ll see you soon.


We love you; each and every one of you.


Longwindedsanonymoushereicome Taproom

Friterday! Friterday! Friterday! Friterday Night's All Right!

I love music.  

Right now, I’m listening to THIS as I’m type typing away. Strike me where I stand but I’m not really sure you can get a more perfect album. There are other perfect albums (ahem/cough/cough) but that album is just tops man, dig?


This Friday night, sometime after 9:30 in the evening, I’ll be listening to something closer to THIS because we’ll have the Carr (Geza) Collective playing in our dining room since it’s yet another installment of LIVE HOT JAZZ. We’re really psyched when we have LIVE HOT JAZZ and we love seeing you so there’s two things that should be placed in between bread and eaten.



It’s like a unicorn.




And you should never pretend to be a unicorn by sticking a plunger on your head if you’re a young poet according to Martin Espada and also logic must no more admit a unicorn than zoology can according to Bertrand Russel, which is a name that can be confused as either a last name first or a first name last or vice versa. Which makes me wonder if there’s anyone out there who’s name is Simon Paul and when the event calls for you to have your last name be considered first (i.e. My Name is Three Penny Taproom (no it’s not) but when you’re someplace where your surname is the one that people want to put first they would want it to be Taproom (comma) Three Penny) they would want their name to be Paul (comma) Simon and whether or not that person kind of chuckles to his/herself and makes them think, “that’s funny, that’s not my name but it reminds me of a song or something.”



But, I progress.


Aside from that we should run down what you’ll be imbibing on while you’re listening to that HOT JAZZ:


Maybe you’d like a Dizzy Vicar from Hermit Thrush and all of it’s tart brown abbey (Belgocentric) ways and then compare it against the Smuttynose Old Brown Dog’s or Idletyme’s Maerzen’s malty sweetness. Or, you’d like another shade of pale and to cure that itch we have Hill Farmstead Edward or Maine Beer Company A Tiny Beautiful Something or Deciduous Genotype or Upper Pass’ First Drop. Perhaps you’d like a little bit more hop to your game and you’ll choose the Hill Farmstead Society ampersand Solitude number six with it’s mosaic hop presence or the Sip of Sunshine from Lawson’s Finest Liquids or Abner or Madonna from Zero Gravity or Sundog from Four (4) Quarters or Duet from Alpine or Fiddlehead IPA or Finest Kind from Smuttynose and no one would blame you if you do. Perhaps you’ll be wondering aloud to yourself, “Self, what does last year’s KBS taste like in comparison to this year’s KBS?” No problem, we all wonder aloud sometimes, it’s not against the grain. Oh, and we have you covered. Same color but a quarter of the alcohol and comes in a pint and also involving nitrogen? That’s a bit exclusive of a request but Shirley Mae is on right now and that’ll plug your hole squarely or circularly depending on the need. Something sour? Almanac Equinox. Pilsner? Lost Nation Vermont Pilsner. Something in the realm of a beer that’s made with hibiscus, lime and blood oranges that spent a little time on wood with a unique quality that can (in your opinion) only be really found from one brewery? Why brother, I think we can help you out there soigne.


That’ll also save you from clicking on any more links today since the other ones are great and will take up a good chuckle of your time since that’s basically every beer we have on tap right now. Also, I’m really good at answering questions so please feel free to ask me anything. Literally, anything except whether I would rather fight a one hundred duck sized horses or one horse sized duck because I still can’t decide. And that brings me to the pet peeve that I have when people say “literally” incorrectly as I just did. I should use the word “actually” in the stead of “literally.” But that’s not my peever. That comes from sports, mostly. As in, the announcer for the game you’re watching say, “he LITERALLY tore his head off.” The correct word would be actually. He didn’t literally do anything, nor did he actually do that either. Maybe we should just leave people’s heads right where they work best, ok?






Before I leave your vision this week there is something that needed to be placed into the ether like a bunch of fairy dust words; one of ours in leaving us. It’s in a good way but we’re losing a very important cog to the machine that is Three Penny. Derek Wohlleben has been a fixture in our kitchen for as long as I can remember and throughout the various tweaks and changes we’ve had to make in that time. He’s an atypical success story in the restaurant world in a very typical path. Derek started washing dishes (anyone who knows our interworkings will know that no one ever just washes dishes – we’re a family and work from the middle out, rather than the ground up) and quickly made his way onto the line and, in time, through the discipline and hard work required to achieve these things, eventually became a Sous Chef for us. It’s times like these, times when you see someone about to follow a passion that they have, that make one think back to the journey that transpired in order to be where we are today. As such a pivotal and remarkable member of our family for that amount of time we couldn’t possibly thank Derek enough for being who he is, for his incredible work ethic, his sense of humor, his willingness to sacrifice and trudge on for the greater good and for his overall being a really great person. In any business, when you have the opportunity to see someone leave and you think to yourself, “well, that’s a huge gain for whomever has the pleasure of working with him next,” you know that something great has happened. So, cheers to Derek and whomever has the pleasure with working with him next. That and if you ever want advice on building muscles, he’s probably the guy to go to. Sun’s out guns out.



Cool. I’ll see you next week.



Thank you,


Taproom (comma) there’sstillhockeygoingonbuthowaboutthemPhils?


That’s right! LIVE HOT JAZZ IN TWO DAYS FROM TODAY’S DATE! It starts at 9:30 and has been one of the best things around. Every month we bring in some of the best Jazz musicians and fill the Taproom with heat (that’s what it’s called). You should be there. You should resolve to be there. Speaking of which…  

So, we’re four months in to the New Year’s Revolutions that I set forth for myself by myself and of myself those four months ago. Yes, I call it a New Year’s Revolution. Why? For the same reason there’s an apostrophe after New Year’s.


In order to recap where we left off about these revolutions I think it would be more effective to just actually let you know how I’ve adapted and overcome these trials and tribulations but, since I just wrote that and then read it aloud to my best friend Mr. Parakeet (she’s a dog with numerous complexes that I’ve still yet to figure out where she learned them from) I actually now think it would be better to just show you how I’ve learned from my past mistakes and have made the world a better place for you and me.


Firstly, running more. I’ve been known to be a “runner” and I’ve inserted the “rabbit ears” there because I’m not really sure what would make someone not a runner. I assume that all people who actively run should be and are considered a “runner.” Well, if that’s your bag as well, then I found this very lovely online teaching method taught by a very skinny chameleon that may or may not be safe for work with the lyrics employed by the gentlemen who are supplying the motivation for the chameleon to move. You can find my longwinded end to this riddle of words HERE.


And on second base, wearing number 2 (OBVI LOL OMG), was that need to pick up a new hobby that involved magic. Magic is very important to people and I figured that my learning magic was important to those people. I want everyone to be involved, you know. I love you all equally (except, for the next couple of weeks Washington Capitals fans are not very high in my favor). Therefore, here is the latest incarnation of where my training has lead me.


Batting third we have that pesky problem of my being either completely condescending trying to teach people new and interesting things versus actually teaching people new and interesting things. That’s where I just leave THIS here and kindly move on to the next paragraph.


[walking along, not looking back, come with me this way and look forward]






CLEANUP hitter coming this way! Remember when you wanted me to blow your mind with music? This is my new band: I’m the one hiding in awe of this song because I love it so much.



And finally, batting the power position was my inability to showcase my power. This is a new one for me. I’m often shy and reserved (which, if you’ve seen me at the Taproom NOT bartending, you’ll be able to witness my shyness firsthand) and demonstrating my power doesn’t come easy because I’m shy and reserved most of the time. Well, except when I’m hiding behind a computer screen after I’ve written these notes in long form with my opposite hand doing three point burpees and eating raw chicken. But now, the power has been unleashed and the full display can be seen HERE.




Moving right along to beer, you should know a couple of things after you’ve assumed that I was being condescending just now:


  • We’re inching closer to Montbeerlier (May 7th from 3-9 in the evening(s)) and you should write it in permanent marker on your thing that has squares on it specifically establishing the day and number of the day relative to the month that we are in. Because, you’re not going to want to miss the cask beers and draft beers and awesome food and wonderful live music. Almost ALL of the beer that we’re pouring will be from the state of Vermont. There is this one cask that I have coming in that’s from Germany and it’s an honest to goodness wooden cask that I just simply couldn’t pass up.
  • Hill Farmstead Susan is on right now and it is an India Pale Ale styled beer.
  • Next up in our theme from the bottom of the Taproom (meaning, kegs that we’ve been aging in our root cellar for a couple of years – this is a good thing) from Allagash is their Interlude dating all the way back to 2013 (do you even remember back that long?). Firstly, they make a beer. Then they age that beer in Red Wine barrels with a whole host of fun bacteria and bugs (redefine your concept of the fact that the word “bugs” can mean a good thing – they aren’t aging these beers with caterpillars) resulting in a tart and funky beer that we have also been aging. So, there.
  • Maine Beer Company makes this beer called A Tiny Beautiful Something and while I’m not entirely sure where or what that title is in reference to I do know that it’s a primarily singled out hopped Pale Ale with El Dorado hops. I like this beer. That’s a personal and professional endorsement.




That’s about all you’re getting out of my brain and fingers this week seeing as I’m one day away from Second Season and that’s about all I’m thinking about nowadays.


Also, rest in peace Mr. Snider.



Wintodayandwewalktogetherforever Taproom

You Loved It (at some point).

So that I can get this out there right off the bat: we’re hoping (I’m hoping) to reach out to everyone and see what some of your past favorite “Daily Burgers” are. You know that we put creamy peanut butter and pickled hot peppers on our burger every Friday but we’ve done some really great ones in the past and we’re basically taking a poll to see which ones you liked the best. So, just email me ( what some of your favorites were and we’re going to do something really special with the data. How did we (I) arrive at this need?  

I never thought you would ask…




You could say that I’m a fairly learned (pronounced “learn-ed” – not trying to be condescending – that means I “talk down” to people (c’mon – that’s funny)) individual. I’ve been known to read the books and share my thoughts and analysis and interpretations in scholarly pursuits (not so much anymore – this right now, what you’re reading, is how I equate in my brain that I’m using the education in this medium) all the while trying my best to be completely intelligent about the subject and objectively handle the matter in order to “journal” the findings. For instance, and this is for another time and place (email me and I’ll let you know details) some of you may know that there’s a children’s book out there that I will never (speaking in hyperbolic fashions today because they fit well and have a good piece of cloth) read to a child due to the content and subliminal teachings of said book. I was and am unashamed of taking a stance that is not popular in order to prove a point important to me all the while backing the argument with concise details. I’m saying all of this because the following might shock you; it might make you not like what I say but you’ll have to hear me out and see.






I don’t believe that the Hambuglar was a good role model.



Exhibit “A.”


No one is questioning the Hamburglar’s intentions here. He wants to steal things. He wishes to take what is rightfully yours that you purchase with your hard earned money without exchanging anything for it. That’s the definition of “stealing.” Granted, the suffix “Burglar” should have been an obvious flag for anyone questioning his motives (which are to STEAL THINGS). My problem here is that the Hamburglar is a character, a children’s playmate for discovery. The fact that he is dressed like a burglar helps little and freshly developing minds to connect with his intentions helps his own cause but is this really what we want to teach our children, well? (get it?)


The major crux of the situation is thus: in exhibit A you will see Mr. Burglar’s attempts to take something which is not his. He tries multiple times and I’m not really sure how he doesn’t hurt himself after he slingshots himself from a tree but that’s besides the fantasy here. After these multiple attempts and upon succeeding the taking of things (in this case: hamburgers from a global chain not mentioned) he is, at the end of the argument, handed a hamburger by another character with silly hair.


How is this making any sense to children?


Are you telling the kinder that if they attempt to steal things that are not theirs they will be awarded with a portion of the very thing with which they attempted to take?


Does the fault lie with him or with the man with silly hair? He’s the enabler.


And what about the large purple thing? As a bystander they do nothing to either aide nor halt the actions of this nefarious criminal. Should the fault lie on Mr. Purple’s shoulders (someone should think of a name for that purple thing – he looks like he’s either smiling a fake smile or completely unsure of his surroundings, resulting in a face that looks like something I can’t quite put my finger on at the moment).


These are questions that keep me up at night people. Because it’s about the KIDS!



That’s why we’re (I’m) hoping to get your two cents on what were some of the “standout” Daily burgers that we’ve had here. You might just see them again if you respond to me with the ones that you liked so much they are now making you think about our hamburgers, which makes me think about beer because hamburgers remind me of grills and grills remind me of summer and summer reminds me of baseball and baseball reminds me of freshly cut grass which is a component of smell attributed to certain types of hops which somehow reminds me of beer.


So here’s some things and stuff:


  • We are very happy to be able to put our friend’s beer on tap soon. It’s Deciduous Brewing out of Newmarket, New Hampshire and we’ll be starting off with their incredibly hard for me to spell word but it basically means tasty Berliner Weisse with Mango and Lychee. I’ve been able to have a couple of Deciduous beers in the past and I’m excited to share these with you. Deciduous means that it sheds its leaves annually but you knew that.
  • Speaking of New Hampshire and places that I’ve stood in we can also mention Schilling Brewing out of Littleton (very pretty there). Right now we have their Konundrum on tap which is a very nice and TART pale ale (you need to know that it’s tart, otherwise you’ll read “pale ale” and be completely off guard when push just came to shove) and soon we’ll be pouring their Grotius, which is their Abbey Style Dubbel (think middle ground in the “body” category with candy sugar remnants). Both of which are very nice and you’d like them, they share many personality traits that match your coat.
  • We will be, very soon, pouring Hill Farmstead’s Shirley Mae on NITRO which is their Session Porter on NITRO and it won’t last long because it’s on NITRO and people are just going to flip their ghoulish gourds over it. NITRO.
  • Idletyme’s Vanilla Porter will also be on tap at the Three Penny Taproom in Montpelier Vermont as well and it’s basically the best Vanilla Porter you’re gong to find so since I just gave you directions you can use those to get down here and get some since it’s mud season and vanilla porters were practically made for mud season (that at least SHOULD be the case).






I look forward to hearing from you, specifically, about what your favorite Daily Burger was so that I can hear from you.





Hockeyhockeyhockeyhockeyhockeyhockeyhockeyhockey Taproom

For the love of the game...

Well, you asked for it…  

If you’ve come here in search of what Three Penny Taproom might be serving this week or soon and all you want to know is what we’re going to be serving this week or soon you might want to (you probably should and I never like to “should” on people) scroll to the bottom to where it says, “FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO SCROLLED DOWN TO THE BOTTOM TO READ ABOUT JUST THE BEERS WE’RE GOING TO HAVE ON TAP SOON START READING HERE:” because this is about to get long and may be like an inside joke to most people who don’t read these things on a regular basis. But, please feel inclined to join us.




Many of you have asked (and if you haven’t asked then, well, you’re getting this anyway – it’s like that moment where you’re thinking about something completely random and a friend comes up and hands that exact random nugget to you – I’m that friend right now) about the whole “Flyers” thing and the “Rick Rolling” (of which I profoundly announce that I mistakenly invented many a moon ago) links that I’ve been putting in these emails and our blog (I put this on our blog too – so if you ever get lonely and want to, know you, read all of these, they’re well documented on our website) regarding going to a hockey game in Montreal a couple of weeks ago. Well, since we had the Peche Mortel event and the Cider Week event I haven’t really been able to answer your call about what that was all about that I alluded too for WAY too long of a time but you have to give me credit for being excited about and wanting to share.


Well, you asked for it…


So I went to Montreal, Quebec, Canada to watch the Philadelphia Flyers play the Canadians of Hockey Club of Montreal. I’m not going to give you a play-by-play of my entire trip, only the part that actually relates to maybe something you’d want to know. The night (ok, truth be told, I was there at 9 in the morning and was told that no one can get into the stadium until 6 at night (18:00). Not even to watch morning skate at 10 in the morning. Not even if you ask really nice and translate English into French in your phone with as many pleasantries that you’re expanded vocabulary can think of and not even after you told the nice man that he has handsome eyes.) of the game I arrived at the Bell Centre (that’s how it’s spelled! It’s much different up there) at 4:30 (16:30) and stood right in front of the door that I assumed would open for me to be able to go watch my Flyers. After about thirty minutes I realized that they were not, in fact, going to open the doors early for me (at least I tried) I decided that I had time to go to a local bar that I’ve heard about and have a beer while I wait. I had decided that I wasn’t going to imbibe a lot before the game so that after I could meander around the city and try out some newer places that I had yet to be inside of until that point. But, I also had a plan in action.


You see; I’m a Flyers fan. I’m from the area of the United States (I’m a citizen with BOTH a passport and an enhanced Identification Card) where sports (especially hockey as hockey fans have tendencies to be a little bit more “Fan”atic than other sportsens) are more than just beating-chest-gladiator-screaming-for-the-red-knight-at-the-Medieval-Times-kind-of-fans. Hockey’s kind of intense. Fights are known to break out on the ice and in the stands. When I was a child my father or uncles or Nan would kind of try to shield me from them happening but I watched them nonetheless and I’ve personally been to about (give or take) several hundred games at the Spectrum in Philadelphia. People get angry with one another and they’re (in their brain) fighting for their colors (colours in the Canada) or their team. Well, I love the Flyers, but I’ve moved on to another part of my life where I’m not all that interested in fighting someone because of it.


But, I wanted to root for my team.


Like, hard; I wanted to be able to yell for my team as loud as I wanted to or were able to until my voice filled the stadium, until the Captain looked up in the stands and thought, “Cool, Kerner’s here. I’m going to play EXTRA hard now.”


So here’s the plan (it’s nothing new – I’d seen in done at the Spectrum a dozen times when someone new comes into the section you sit in with an opposing team’s jersey on – but not the Penguins – you can’t do that): I was going to purchase as many beers as were legally available at the stadium and, after the anthems were sung (I simply love the Canadian National Anthem – I love our National Anthem too – but, I really need to learn theirs by heart, I felt like an idiot not knowing it by heart) I had planned on handing most of the beers purchased out to the people around me, assuming that they were going to be rooting for the Canadians.


So I asked the man behind the concession stand how many I could purchase since, in the States, they usually limit you to two or three at a time. He said, “as many as you have the money for.”


I bought eight.


One hundred and forty dollars later (I think I’m the only one who’s ever tipped that man) I was on my way to my seat. This being my first live Flyers game in almost 15 years I did not skimp on where I was to sit. I had my favorite chair; third level, first row, center ice. I put the two compostable and made of recycled cardboard beer carriers (I got tall boy cans of Molson Canadian (fitting) if you wanted to know and you should know since it’s important later – the Alcohol By Volume of this beer is about 5 percent) under my seat and waited.


The anthems came.


I felt dumb for only knowing the words to one of them.


Everyone sat down.


I reached under my chair and pulled seven of the eight already opened beers out and looked around for people in Canadians jerseys to hand these beers out to, starting with behind me. Well, behind me was a girl’s hockey team from upstate New York where the median age was about fourteen. No, I didn’t not hand them beer.


I handed the seven beers out to the people in my row and they were all initially puzzled but soon accepted my offerings with a whole lot of “merci” and a little bit of shock. They probably weren’t talking about me in French but they were sure gesturing in a way to make me think that they were saying, “silly American trying to buy our love away from our beloved team.” I wasn’t trying to do that. I then explained that I am a Flyers fan (I didn’t wear any paraphernalia because I didn’t want to wear it after the game about town (especially if we won)) and that all I wanted to do was to watch hockey and cheer for my team.


Good plan in action, eh?


I had kept one of these beers for myself as my “game beer” to be drunk in thirds for each of the periods of play.


The first period came and went. The Flyers were playing well.


At first intermission I and my new friends all got up to use the rest rooms and/or eat four hot dogs (I’ll let you know I did a little of both – ok, yes, I ate four hot dogs – I needed some sort of base in my stomach because I had forgotten to eat dinner in my excitement and I had planned on having beer after the game and beer on an empty stomach is a rookie mistake and I’m not Shane Gostisbehere (Ghost Bear to you) or else I’d be a way better skater) and returned to our chairs for the second period to begin.


That’s where my plan backfired.


Well, you can’t call it “backfired” because that would imply that something bad happened. Nothing bad happened. I was just a victim of my own generosity.


Each of the seven people that I handed a beer to before the game came back to our section and handed me a beer in return; every single one of them. That is to say, I bought eight beers with the intention of handing out seven and keeping one for myself and now, at the start of the second period, I had eight beers under my chair, all opened and all but one of them were Molson Export (7 percent Alcohol By Volume).


I did what anyone would do.


I tried my hardest to be gracious to my new friends and finish their gifts. It’s how I was raised. You finish what’s handed to you.


In all, I had three total. But, for those that know me, three seven percent ABV beers (in pint sized format) on top of the beer I had before the game and the other beer that was going warm that was 5 percent ABV, will know that this is a good deal out of my “norm.” I love beer. I’m not a lightweight. But I usually like to stick in the 5 percent range so that I can have more of them. Because; I love beer. And, usually I’m not drinking that amount in an hour.


I can’t say I was drunk. But, I can say that I usually don’t like hugging but I got a LOT of hugs that night from my new friends. By the end of the game (the Flyers lost in a shootout which meant that I got to see overtime 3-on-3 live – which, was awesome regardless of the outcome) we were all just straight up hockey fans. And, it was more about the fact that we “bonded” over being able to share something with another person. It was more than just about beer and imbibing and hockey. It was the fact that there was about fifteen of us in that row and by the end of the game, regardless for who we were rooting for; we were embracing like hundred yearlong friends who’re out for a night on the town.

After the game we waddled out of the stadium and one of my new friends invited me to go to a bar with him and his lady. I had to decline. I wandered the streets and took in the culture and signage of this newish to me city, ultimately stopping about two hours later into an Irish Pub where I knew I could get a cream ale on tap. Having that pint I realized that I was still in a foreign country and my uncomfortablilty in public stretches beyond the borders. So, I returned to my hotel room and played mandolin (I’m teaching myself mandolin) and watched the game that I was just at on television in its entirety in a language that I can’t speak fluently.


Maybe this is self-serving to write this out for you but maybe this answers the questions that I’ve heard recently about my incessant mentioning about the hockey game that I was going to in past memos to you. And, maybe I didn’t have much to tell you this week so it gave me a perfect opportunity to be able to answer those questions. Either way, that’s the answer.


I had a great time, thanks for asking.






Here they are!


  • Idletyme Weizen: this beer sells really really well because it’s really really good and very much so true to form. A VERY (I’m low on adjectives today, apparently) amazing and awesome and cool and neato Hefeweizen with all of it’s slightly spicy and bready awesomeness.
  • Zero Gravity Mr. Black: you may not know what a Schwarzbier is when you see it on the board but that’s going to change because you’ll have this little nugget of information in your head when you actually do read it: it’s a black lager, which is a little toasty and roasty but not really over the top but it retains the crispness from the lager fermentation.
  • Schilling Modernism: speaking of dark things, this is another type of dark lager but more in the Czech style than the German style that Mr. Black falls under. Also known as a “TMave.” I personally distinguish this dark lager as being less roasty and toasty than a Schwarzbier, therefore requiring it’s own style in the times when styles need to be defined.
  • Les Trois Mousquetaires: more than just a really fun word to type this is their Doppelbock, just in time for the Spring that is springing upon us today. I hope you’re feeling it too. So, think big and malty and brown in color (or colour as this is from Quebec) with a good amount of warming alcohol.



That should wet your spring-whistle, which is a word that I just made up and can now be plagerized (notice I spelled plagiarized wrong? That’s so you can steal it and not have it be correct).


My Best To You All,



Waitingforsecondseason Taproom

Under Cover.

Call me crazy, (for anyone who reads the rest of this email and gets the reference that I’ve just laid forth, you win my “extra specially person of the week” badge and your name will be drawn and quartered from a hat that I like to wear and you will be (if selected) awarded your very own “Dog Who Licked the Washcloth With Ice-9 on It” (another reference) keychain) but I love music. This Saturday will be yet another installment of our “Let Rob Morse Assemble an Amazing Group of Jazz Musicians and Set Fire to Your Ears in a Good Way” series of Jazz concerts that we do mostly on Saturdays. Which, got me into thinking about Jazz again and, rather than go on and on again about how, as a child, I was turned on to Jazz more than any other form of music for some reason. So, that got me thinking in a different avenue about “standards” and other forms of folkloric forms of “cover” songs although they’re not really “covers” when one plays a “standard.” That’s why everyone learns them; they’re called “standards.”  

Therefore, I have a two part (I guess three if you got the reference above and it’ll make sense with the second part called “Part Two” if you do) challenge for you all this week, of which I will outline here:


Part One: Cover Songs.


There are those songs that are out there that weren’t written by the people performing them but those that are actually performing them are doing quite well by the standard of the song’s origin. By that I mean, well…


THIS (weird video but the only one I could find) song was written by THIS guy.


However, THIS version by THIS guy is (in my humble opinion) as good as the original, albeit a different interpretation.


That’s just the first I came up with.


Because THIS version of THIS man’s song was actually agreed upon by that guy who wrote it that it was better than the original version and he should know, he wrote it.


We could get all sorts of deep and go with THIS one versus THIS one (digging deep).


But I think you get the idea. What covers are worthy of their own standing?


I recently heard THIS cover of THIS GUY’S song and thought it was quite good. Also, THIS is pretty good.


As a musician myself I find it hard to cover certain bands/people because I have this feeling that they played it better than anyone else could and there’s no real way to go up with the song, it’s already at it’s zenith. That’s why if I ever have to cover The Beatles (with an “A!”), I rarely will sing it, I’ll just play the song instrumentally.


So what say you?


I’m leaving this wide open to Jeff Buckley’s version of Cohen’s “Halleluiah.”



Part Two – Cat’s Cradle:


Ok, this whole thing was supposed to be (according to the Oracle) about the world’s longest played game of cat’s cradle. However, the only thing I know about this game AT ALL is that it’s a book by a writer with whom I have a lot of respect. There’s the key to winning that first reference. Will someone teach me this game?


I’ve done what I normally do when I don’t know something (I research the heckfire out of it until either it or I give up and I’m a Taurus so the former happens before the latter in all occurrences) but after watching four videos on how to do this I have still no idea how to do it. So, as the saying goes, “when the student is ready the teacher will present themselves.” Well, I think I’m ready.



Part Two Sub A – What you really want to read about:


Ok, I’ll step away from being inside my own head to let you all know about some things we’ve got coming up soon.


NEXT SATURDAY (the 27th of February) we’re hosting Dieu Du Ciel’s Peche Day. It’s a big deal. We’re your go to spot in Vermont to get all 6 (SIX!) versions of their incredible Imperial Coffee stout. So, in talking about beer today, here is the list of what we’re going to have on just for you, the one reading:


  • Peche Mortel Original: 9.5% ABV. This is the “Original.”
  • Peche Mortel Dry: 10% ABV. A drier and more alcoholic version of Peche with even more so pronounced tastes from the roasted barley and full coffee flavor.
  • Peche Mortel Special 2016: 9.9% ABV. This is the original Peche but with different styles of coffee being added. This year’s new varietal is a bean from Kenya named M’Beguka.
  • Peche Mortel Bourbon: 9.5% ABV. Six months minimum aged in Bourbon barrels.
  • Peche Veniel: 6.5% ABV. A lighter version of the standard but a full bodied stout nonetheless. Also, it uses a different varietal of coffee than the original, this year being a lightly roasted Columbian from Ignacio Quintero.
  • Peche aux Peches (or Peach Peche): 9.5% ABV. Because most people mistake the word “Peche” to mean “peach” when it actually means “Sin,” the good Dieu Du Ciel! folks went ahead and made it all together for you so that you can be correct no matter what you think it means.



Yes, all of these will be on next Saturday, which is a week after we have our monthly dose of Jazz.


We will have other beer on tap if that’s not really your bag but it stands to be mentioned all of the different varietals so that you know ahead of time.





Then I leave it to you to think of one for all this. (that’s another hint)





TWODAYSfromnowI’llbebuyingasmanybeersaspossiblefromaconcessionstandandafterthenationalanthem(iwillremovemyhatandstand)iwillhandthesebeerstoeveryonethatisaroundmyseatjustbeforepuckdropbecausethat’showyoudidntgetintoafightatthespectrumandi’massumingit’sinternationalcode Taproom






At the Playground, ya know? Plaaaaaayyygrrrrouuuunddd...

I have a pretty sweet commute, I must say.  

That is to say not many people have the luxury of walking to work everyday. Most people wouldn’t want to and some other people who shall remain nameless actually enjoy the time period when they’re not working to be able to listen to NPR (AFTER they’ve pledged money – without doing so is just robbing the world of Garrison Keeler) for a while and decompress after work or compress before work because that’s probably what it’s called while commuting. I’ve been there. I’ve done the proverbial “that.”


I was raised very well in an area where in order to get to work, driving an automobile was a necessity in order to get there. Even though it was actually and technically in the same “town” that you woke up in it still took forty-five minutes to get there.


But not now: I get to walk to work, a year a round.


And, every day, every day, I walk past an Elementary school. It’s called Union Elementary. The changes in the seasons happen and sometimes they do not make the children attend the school but the building is there nevertheless. Sometimes (usually associated with the first day of school) the Principal rides there on a real horse. I have to say that I enjoy that day. I think it’s pretty awesome to be a student at a school where the principal rides a real horse there on the first day of your year.


This school also has a playground, which they’re want to do since recess for children is a part of education and learning. A very big part actually. It’s rather invaluable. Because work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do and play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do according to Mark Twain and in every real man a child is hiding that wants to play according to Nietzsche. Also, play gives children a chance to practice what they’re learning according to Mr. Rodgers. Those should have been in quotes but I’m trying to not use “rabbit ears” today. Wait.


Well, there’s a host of people who wish to upgrade the equipment of their playground and we’re going to be there to help fundraise. Please you to be clicking HERE to learn more about the Union Playground Project and the event that they’re putting on this Saturday up at the Vermont College of Fine Arts. So, please you to be checking it out and going to see the Dave Keller Band all for a good cause. And, for smiles, don’t forget the smiles.



Smile ONE.



Smile TWO.



Smile THREE.



Also, they let the children play soccer (some of the children are quite good) and there’s no way that I can not use the word adorable when watching children play soccer or futbol. Well, if it was hockey it would be downright criminal cuteness.






Will the children please leave the room, we have adult beverages to speak of and prepositions to end our sentences with and will the rest of you just rattle your jewelry.



Thank you.



Oh yeah, firstly, you can’t be not reminded about the fact that we LAUNCHED A BRAND NEW MENU ON MONDAY AND IT’S AWESOME! Check it out HERE. We’re pretty excited and I think y’all will be too. There’s specifically something on there that people have asked for since the beginning of time and they should be happy.


Adult beverages:


  • Citizen Cider’s Cidre Bourgeois is in the house and it’s still made with all Vermont Apples. Which, should entice you enough to drink it even if it’s named after a Banker who’s probably the coolest banker we know since he doesn’t act like a banker or at least that’s what he tells me.
  • Lawson’s Finest Super Session #2 will be on again soon and we partly apologize for the disappearance for the little bit there that it was hiding. Actually, it was kidnapped. Yup, kidnapped by Vikings. It learned their ways and now I have a really cool knife made out of stone and a whale’s rib cage. It’s a Session IPA. The beer, not the knife. The knife is in my possession now.
  • Foundation’s (Portland, Maine) Afterglow is coming on soon and it’s a really fantastic IPA from Portland, Maine. For sure one that shouldn’t be missed.
  • Idletyme’s (formerly Crop Bistro) Bohemia Pilsner is on and is one of the best Czech style Pilsners available. I should know, I buy/try a LOT of Pilsners as it’s my favorite style of beer (most people know this, if this is news to you then this is the first time you’re hearing about this). Very floral and light on the bitterness level. An excellent representation of the style.
  • Fiddlehead’s Second Fiddle is slated to be in a glass in front of you at a Taproom that you love very much very soon. Welcome about that.
  • Hill Farmstead Susan is worth a mention as a beer that comes from a brewery that just won Best Brewery in the World recently and that includes the whole world. Also worth a mention: it’s an IPA.



Looking good Billy Ray.




Feeling good Lewis.




Until they let me again out of my cage, cheers.



poundsignThistimenextweekI’llbegettingprettyexcitedaboutgoingtoseeahockeygameincanada Taproom

It's like the villain in TMNT, right?

It’s that time of I’m just kidding I’m not going to start this one like that.  



Let’s talk sledding!



Now that there’s a nice layer of the white stuff (not people, we’re not talking about white people) on the ground the training can commence. You all know me to be a straight out of the past Renaissance man so it should not come to much of surprise to learn about me that I’m a champion sledder. I shred the sled. Not many can match my slick skills on the plastic disk but there has always been one person that can surpass my level of competition.


His name is Dillon Delano and he works here.


Dillon grew up in the hearty hill of Worcester, Vermont which is pronounced the same way that you would if you lived in Boston and had a funny accent which is only funny because you don’t hear it every day and by funny I mean peculiar to the situation not funny ha ha. He, at an early age, had a penchant for plastic, a gift from the Gods of sliding over snow from the top of a hilly area to the bottom in quick fashion. And it all comes from how tall he is and how deep his voice is but it also came from his insane work ethic.


You see, Dillon got to where he is in the sledding community because he was an innovator, a true visionary when it comes to how to sled and it didn’t hurt that he rarely gets cold so he could be outside, sledding, for long periods of time. At the age of 4 Dillon crafted what’s known in the “circle” as the “Delano Destroyer.” The “DD” (as it’s referred) is simply the most architecturally sound and hermetic sled ever envisioned. You can see a picture of it here. That might look simple and easy but I can assure you (as the number 2 sledder in the entire world) that it’s a vicious piece of machinery. Over the years people have tried to copy his design but no one has been able to replicate what 4-year-old Dillon was able to and all have failed to race him down the hill.


But he will be dethroned soon. Training has begun and it is my year to take him on at the Worcester World Championships coming up in the next two months so if you need me, I’ll be going up and down hills in preparation of our battle. I’ve come up with a design that I believe will work but I can’t show you because I don’t want you to try and copy it but let’s just say that my design is going to be known as legendary.


Ok, enough about me. How are you?!?


That’s just great.





On soon?



At Three Penny?



Oh, you know, we’ll have, you know, stuff.



Like Zero Gravity’s Weizenbock which is so awesome this time of year to have on with all of it’s malty and wheaty goodness that comes in a pint. It’s a strong(ish) German Style Lager that mostly announces itself with the “Weizen” portion of the prefix since that basically means “Wheat” in Germany. That wheat adds a bunch to the finished beer, which may or may not include a certain sweetness and some great body.


Also, we’ll be pouring Society & Solitude #2 from the Hill Farmstead soon which, to run on the treadmill of you memory box, is an Imperial India Black (notice I didn’t say Pale) Ale. It’ll be dark in colour when you see it next.


Also dark is their Everett (American Porter) which, I am told, is the greatest American Porter that you’re ever going to come in contact with so you might want to get on drinking it before we sell it all to your friends (some friends, huh?).


Coming sooner than you would prefer (that’s a joker) is Smuttynose’s White Wine Aged Oaked Belgian Style Tripel but it’ll be called something much shorter than that when it gets up on the board. I mean, just imagine a Belgian Style Tripel that’s been aged in White Wine Barrels and you can talk about it too. Then, you’ll be able to tell me that it won’t be a dark beer but it’ll still be warming for my inside voice.


And what would be a moment between you and me (no one else is around, you’re safe) without mentioning that we got Lawson’s Finest in the house but I’m not going to let you know what it is specifically so you’ll just have to guess but it’ll be on as soon as we can get it on.



Ok, that’s about all I have until I can think of more to tell you.


And, I really don’t have much in the way of Rick Rolling (I was informed that I might have invented that? Anyone confirm this?) except for this but it’s really not that much. Why do I have to lie so much? That’s awesome.



So I’ll try harder to be the inventor extraordinaire that you all love about me.





Ididn’twanttoleaveyouallonamadnotesoi’mjustgoingtoleavethisheretosatiateyourneedtobehappy Taproom

Bada Ba Ba, Bada Ba Ba Ba!!!

Man, I think I start these things with the phrase “It’s that time of year!” too much.  

But it is.


It is the time of year that we can all forget that the year actually changes when we’re writing checks (I still write checks – with my own handwriting) after the year has changed and it’s time to reflect on the year that actually passed so that we may look forward to the year that presents itself to us and plan accordingly to resolutely change the way that we are so that we can give each other false hopes and support in order to actually think that we need to change because let’s face it, you’re pretty amazing the way you are and if you tweak one or two things in your life it may just make you happier.


Therefore, I’m making it easier on all of you and giving you suggestions as to what your New Year’s Resolutions COULD be (I’m never one to say “should,” far be it from me to tell you what you “should” be doing – I never want you to say, “Don’t should on me!”). By the way, we’re (Three Penny) going to totally be open for New Year’s Eve but we will NOT be open New Year’s Day, that’s the day that I eat chicken wings and watch the Winter Classic (Go Flyers) so I can not work that day.




Alright, here we go. These are suggestions for things to resolute for the New Year:


  • Go to the gym. Once.
  • With that in mind, you should start referring to your toilet as “Jim” instead of “John” so you can also say you go to the “Jim” every morning. Once.
  • Acquire a selfie stick (narcissism wand) and use it constantly, specifically on speakerphone.
  • Buy a page-a-day calendar (the one that has useful facts per day) and use it. Once.
  • Write down everything that you did on New Years Eve as it’s happening and then, in the morning, write, “Stop it” at the bottom.
  • Convince yourself that a burger a day is good for you.
  • Get a tattoo of the theme song from All Things Considered on your forearm and sing it whenever anyone asks you what it is.
  • Meet less people and spend more time on your phone.
  • Love yourself the way that Kanye West loves himself.
  • Use the phrase “Homie don’t play that” at least once a day.
  • Stop crying at commercials that involve sporting events.



Of course, you should probably pick one or two of those, doing all of them would just be difficult and probably make you a weird person that does the same things that I do.


Other than that, please enjoy your New Years responsibly and with good cheer so that we can still see your faces because they’re nice and we like them.


Here’s some of the beers that you will be able to celebrate with:


  • Rodenbach Caractere Rouge: If you like sour beers, this would be right up your Presidential bowling alley. It’s an Oak Aged Flanders Red made with cranberries, raspberries and sour cherries. That means it’s really sour. You should like it.
  • Something you should also drink is the Alpine Pure Hoppiness, which is a really nice west coast double IPA from the west coast. You should. You should drink it.
  • Also, you should drink the Hill Farmstead Abner that we just put on because you love that double IPA from Hill Farmstead.
  • While you’re at it, the Geyser Gose from the collaboration between Two Roads Brewing Company and Evil Twin Brewing is very good and you should drink that too. You’ll notice on our board that the following isn’t on there because we ran out of space but it’s a Tart Wheat Ale made with Icelandic moss, rye, herbs, sea kelp, skyr (Icelandic yogurt) and birch-smoked sea salt.
  • The Zero Gravity Cascara Brown is also on for your should drinking and it’s a really nice brown ale that’s made with coffee cherries (the part of the coffee before it’s roasted).
  • You should try the Smuttynose S’mitsletoe that we also have which is an oak aged Biere de Garde (meaning “beer for keeping”) with black currants, sweet cherries and plum. It’s something you should try.



Oh, I could go on and on and on but I won’t. I’m resolving not to.



So, HAPPY NEW YEAR’S my friends and be safe out there!




I’mresolvingtoactuallybeawakeuntiltenoclockthisyearonnewyearsevebutweallknowwhathappenswhenotherpeoplestarthavingfunaroundyou Taproom

The Synonym of Echo...

Generally, when applicable, I try my hardest not to lie. I feel it only fitting and necessary to do so since you all are just so special to me.  

Unless it comes to being funny; that’s when I’ll lie through your teeth if I have to and I realize that we (you and I) almost just ended that sentence in a preposition so it’s a good thing we caught it before we just embarrassed ourselves (it’s the little things that I do for you that make me come back).


Recently (and if you know me in real life you’ll already be sick of me talking about this but I felt it necessary to share with you because I like you and you may or may not have heard about this yet) I arrived at the opportunity to be able to change the wording on the screen for the people who receive telephone calls from me. That is, right now, whenever I call someone my name comes up on his or her screen. I believe it’s called “caller ID (I have no idea what that stands for).” But that’s just boring.


So I’ve come up with a couple of things that I can change it to so that whenever someone receives a phone call from me they get to see that their call is from:


  • Nature (it’s for when, you know, Nature calls).
  • The Wild (Jack London would appreciate this).
  • London (because I know that “I” would appreciate someone calling me and me being able to say, “I’m sorry, I have to go…London’s Calling).
  • Me Crazy Butt (I’m the one calling you crazy, but…)
  • Your Mom (again, I’m sorry, I have to go…your mom is calling).



And, my personal favorite: Future You (just because I think every time I called someone new I’d yell “DUCK!” immediately after they picked up the phone).



So, I guess it should be just thrown out there that if you ever get a phone call and the caller ID says, “Future You” and it isn’t me, you might want to listen to what they have to say.


Well, “future you” was at the launch of LORD HOBO BREWING COMPANY THIS FRIDAY where we had Boomsauce and Steal This Can on tap with the Hobos in house to celebrate their imminent conquering of the Republic of Vermont. And they want you to know that if you haven’t yet tried anything from Lord Hobo Brewing Company and you like your beers with a little bit of hops in them (that’s a weird lie known as a “sarcastic lie,” they’re very well known for making VERY hoppy beers) then future you thinks that that thing you were planning on doing Friday can wait a little so you can get you some Hobo. So, I would suggest listening to everthing that future you is telling you to do.



As far as other relative material this week I’ve already told you how I became a jazz fan so I really didn’t have to go into that detail. BUT, we have LIVE JAZZ again this SATURDAY! This time the iteration is of the Bronstein/Carr/Morse variety and will kick off somewhere closer to 9:30 in the post meridian as opposed to 9:30 in the ante meridian.


It’s also worth mentioning that you got your friend/boss/mother/mail delivery person/chiropractor/stranger who you met upon the street by chance to separate glances met/dog washer a Gift Card/Certificate last year and they really appreciated it. So, go ahead and do that again. You’ll be popular and someone will take you to prom so you don’t have to go with your friend and wear one of those fake ribbons as a corsage (truth – at least for me – at some point that night I also got into a fight with a dozen roses – truth – at least for me).


As far as beer is concerned for this coming week we’re looking like we’re going to stop pouring beer because that was so last year but that’s a lie. Here’s what you can look forward to (in addition to the Hobo beers):


  • Maine Beer Company Lunch: it’s hoppy. I thought it was way too hoppy for what it was described to me as but it was good nonetheless. Someone told me it was water and my palate might be a little skewed but it tastes way more like an incredible IPA to me…I could be wrong.
  • And whoever told me that I could like a Double Alt beer from Lagunitas is totally lying to me. It’s delicious. I don’t know that they were talking about.
  • And, the Frost Beer Works Really Pale Ale that everyone told me I wasn’t going to like it? They lied too. It’s fantastic.
  • Oh, and we decided that Lost Nation’s Mosaic should be poured again to see if we like it this time. You know, we had so much of it and drank a bunch of it and it was fantastic but it’s always best to be thorough we these kinds of things.



That’s a good little snippet for this week so keep in mind that there’s other people out there and those people like gift cards because they’re nice and you like them.





That’sthefirstandonlytimei’musingapinkfloydreferenceinoneoftheseemailssopleasebecarefulwiththataxeeugeneokthatmakestwo Taproom

It's the THIRD day!!!

בדרך כלל , אני נוטה להיצמדלדפוסשמנסה לגרום לך לצחוק או צחקוק או סניקרס לפחות קצת עם תקיעות הדוא"ל שבועיות אלהורוב הזמן אני יכול לבוא עםדרך שנונה וחכמהוייחודית לעשות את זה כל בשם טוב כיף לפני שממש מדבר על בירה כבר . עם זאת , בשבוע זה אני חווה את כובע משהו קורה לעתים רחוקות : הבלוק של הסופר . מישמכיר אותי יודע שאני בדרך כלל ( בדרך כלל )אדם שלא מדבר הרבה , לפחות לא עם הפה שלי . תמיד היה לי בעיה להרכיב את המילים הנכונים לתאר בדיוק את מה שאני כנראה צריך לומרואני נוטה לטעויות בצד של פשוט להיות שקטיםושמירה לעצמי כל כך שאני לא אפול על עצמיולחשוף את הטיפשות שלי . עם זאת , כשזה מגיע לכתיבה , אף פעם לא היה לי בעיה עם המושל שלי . דברים אלה ( קטעים ) הם בעצם מה שקורה במוח שלי בכל שנייה נתונה. זה רק אני מדבר מבלי צורך לדבר . אבל השבוע : שום דבר .  

I do have to tell you that we have a great Sour Beer Dinner on the 20th featuring the culinary acrobatics of our kitchen and Hermit Thrush Brewing and that you can sign up HERE to come to it and it’s going to be fantastic. But, there’s nothing funny about that. It’s going to be really good.


It’s also the third day of Hanukkah (for all of my fans who read/interpret Hebrew, that first part was for you – the rest of you can just rattle your jewelry), which isn’t something that should be made fun of either. There’s nothing humorous about commemorating the rededication of the holy temple in Jerusalem at the time of Maccabean Revolt against the Seleucid Empire. What I should do is wish everyone a Happy Hanukkah to those who celebrate (or “to dedicate”). That’s nothing to make fun of either, because I honestly and genuinely wish everyone a Happy Hanukkah.



So I guess I’ll just tell you (and yours) all of the above and then talk about some beer.





So I guess that’s what I’ll do.



Here’s some stuff you might want to drink that we’ll have for you either right now or soonish to now that it’s worth mentioning:


Hill Farmstead Madness & Solitude: whelp, I just showed my hand. Usually, you shouldn’t start with the one that you should probably keep until later after I’ve buttered you up a little bit my little beautiful pieces of bacon (am I the only one who butters their bacon?). But, this will be on soon and you should mark it in your calendar because we have five (5!) gallons of it. Oh, it’s an Imperial IPA that’s been aged in oak barrels. Enjoy.


Lawson’s Finest Carrier Mild will also be here towards the end of the week and then we’ll put it on as soon as we can but you should also know that Mr. Lawson also did a collaboration with Cigar City (Florida) and they ended up making an American IPA w/ mango and passionfruit and called it Reverse Migration and we’re actually serving it right now (I’m learning to butter the bacon better).


While we’re at it we might as well discuss the Zero Gravity Little Wolf (I always spell that wrong and then I have to go back and retype it) that we have on right now which is a 4.7% (wheelhouse) ABV American Pale Ale. Anyone who knows that they like an American Pale Ale that’s under 5% should probably try this one because it’s lovely. Oh, it’s also delicious. I always spell that word wrong as well.


And, while we’re talking about Cigar City (I jump around a lot in my mind too) I should let you know that we also have their standard IPA, Jai Alai, on right now so that you can drink it.




Ok, I’ll leave you with one link (for those that don’t read/interpret Hebrew) to get you by until next week when I try to be a little more humorous than I’m being this week. HERE IT IS FOR YOUR VEWING PLEASURE!!! I have no clue why it took so long for that to happen.




Cheers Friends!



Imusthavetalkedtoomuchoverthepastcoupleofdaysandishouldprobablygetbacktobeingstuckinmyownheadforthegoodofhumanity Taproom



Click ME!!!

I remember it as though it were a meal ago. There comes a time in everyone’s life where it’s time for you to purchase your very first piece of music. Well, I’m pretty sure everyone gets to that point or at least quasi-close to it if you listen to music at all but I’ve heard that there are those who don’t really listen to music at all so this whole paragraph and the subsequent ones are probably going to be lost on you. Music was a really big thing for me growing up.

I believe it was the late 80s when I first walked into the Princeton Record Exchange located in the very apt named town in the state of New Jersey. I was there because I had a gift certificate to the store given to me by probably a relative and I was sent to acquire my very first “tape” as I’d been given a “tape player” for some sort of holiday (it was, as the 80s suggestion would matter, SO nice).

So there I was, surrounded by the likes of THIS (which I do love me some Mr. Joel) and THIS (Classic – especially in headphones) and THIS (karaoke staple) and THIS (first concert EVER – Philly Spectrum) and then there’s always THIS and everyone knew THIS jam and then again, THIS was in pretty heavy rotation at some point in my life (not by me, by the WORLD).

But I didn’t grow up with any of that.

When I was given this “player” I was also “gifted” a three pack of greatest hits cassettes that my grandfather bought (they were probably free with a full tank or something) at a Hess station. It was HER, HIM and HIM.

That was more my style but I was looking for something more.

That’s when I found THIS. Quite arguably the greatest Jazz Album of all time. Yes, I was REALLY into Jazz as a youth and that is basically giving you a lot to think about if you know me at all outside of our weekly soapbox experiment. Especially THIS song; it changed me.

I know there’s more out there. I know there’s a lot of Jazz to be mentioned but that was it for me. You could have kept all of your Madonnas and Michaels and Escape Clubs and Bill Oceans. I stuck with Jazz.

That is, until I got really heavy into THIS, and then THIS happened and I went into a million different personalities from there.

All of this is fun but what I’m getting to is the fact that we have an INCREDIBLE Jazz outfit playing here this Saturday and I’m psyched. They’re going to go on a little earlier this time (like 9:30ish) and set up so that we can see them through the front of the window but if you haven’t checked these guys out yet, you’re missing out. The band is Geza Carr, Rob Morse and Parker Shper. If you haven’t heard these gentlemen yet I can assure you that it’s basically the cream of the Jazz crop all playing together in out tiny little Taproom; truly a pleasure and honor. All of that was maybe a little anti-climactic for you after clicking on all of those links but let me assure you, those guys will make up my shortcomings.

Ok, I’ll talk about beer now.

I should first tell you that our Cider and Artisan paired dinner last Sunday went EXTREMELY well and you should keep your eyes peeled for the fact that we’re going to be doing one with Hermit Thrush in the month of December, so, we’ll be doing that and you should stay tuned because keeping your eyes peeled might hurt.

Right, beer!

Now, on to Cider. We’re going to be pouring Urban Farm Fermentory’s Basil and Pink Peppercorn Cider pretty soon and if you’re like me you’re probably thinking that it’s going to be a cider made with basil and pink peppercorns so that’s probably what it’s going to taste like.

Now, on to BEER!

Some of the beauties that we have lined up for you are as follows but are not limited to:

  • Frost Autumnal Just Pale Ale: it’s like they took their normal “Just Pale Ale” and brewed it with rye, adding a slightly spicy character to the beer and rounding out the profile. It’s just like that.
  • Hill Farmstead Abner: it’s kind of like a double IPA and kind of like the greatest thing you’ve ever put in your mouth ever in your life ever.
  • Foley Brother’s Pieces of Eight: I’m not sure how much draft you’re going to find of this beer partly because I don’t work in their brewery and wasn’t in charge of that facet but I’m willing to bet there’s not much as of right now. It’s a double IPA as well and it’s very good.
  • Schilling Belgo-Galaxy: our FIRST ability to be able to let you try the wares of this smaller producer of fine multi - style beers from one of my favorite towns, Littleton, Nuevo Hampshire. It’s a take on Belgian Pale ale made with Galaxy hops. We’re excite.
  • Lagunitas Daytime Sour Mashed: what they did (the proverbial “they”) was “soured” (hot-side souring to be a little more technical about it) their Session IPA. I believe hilarity ensued and then we got one for you to try.

Cool. That’s about it from me for you for this week.

I hope you’re all smiling lots and keeping on keeping on.

Wheneverithinkaboutrobmorseplayingmusicicompletelyexpecthimtorespondtomeinthisfashion Taproom

The "ultimate prize"...

So, I started watching baseball again.  



(I’m a Phillies fan. My reasoning for watching lasted a short time and then ended a long time ago.)



It reminded me of when my friends and I built a whiffle ball arena (ball field) in our back yard when most of us were living at the Cascade plantation. The idea came about because we had already re-erected a “Slow Children” (“their” horrible use of punctuation, not mine) sign that was at the end of our road. To our knowledge there really wasn’t any children on our road but we thought that the sign was important for people who drove way too fast on that road (the visitors of the residents of the road itself, the residents wouldn’t drive fast on that road) to maybe, you know, slow down a little bit while driving on the road that we don’t own but we do live on. We had re-erected the sign but it had fallen again (snow plows probably – even in the summer) and now it was just sitting there waiting for something to happen. So, the idea was erected that if the sign was allowed to turn one hundred and eighty degrees and if we hammered the sign into the ground it would be at the perfect height to be a strike zone for whiffle ball. It was a good idea so we ran with it.


Next, we “borrowed” snow fencing (the orange kind – of course! It’s my favorite color) and that wheeled thing that you put paint in to make lines on a field. Then, we brought my 1968 Sunn PA system outside and invited everyone that we knew over to play a round-robin tournament of whiffle ball. Fun times were had by all and we even christened the event with a spectacular name: the Fall Classic.


We’re not sure where we’ve heard that before but, well, it stuck.


You know the only thing missing from that day?


A World Series trophy.


Well, some years later we’ve some how procured one. Yes, this is real. (full disclosure: I didn’t write that blog post. Someone far more clever than I and with better computer skills did.)


This SATURDAY from 2-5 in the afternoon we will have a WORLD SERIES TROPHY actually won by the Boston Red Sox so that you can have your picture taken with it. This is serious.


Also serious, we will ALSO HAVE A REAL VINCE LOMBARDI TROPHY won by the New England Patriots.


As you know that we’re fond of fundraisers, this one is actually for the Vermont Food Bank. For a $5 donation to the food bank we will have a professional photographer take a picture of you and whomever you wish next to these trophies. I assure you, they are real.


We will be doing this in the back parking lot (behind our building) and it will be great to have your picture taken in front of or next to either a World Series Trophy or the Vince Lombardi trophy that an American Football team (full disclosure: Go Pats) wins when they win the Super Bowl.


And, it’s all for a good cause going into the winter season (but not yet).





Also on Saturday: we asked our good friend Rob Morse to play some jazz with some of his friends about once a month because jazz is the most American style of music. That’s partly true but Rob plays the bass VERY well and plays jazz on that bass even better. This Saturday (tentative starting time of 11 PM) he will be joined by Parker Shper and Geza Carr and they will be awesome. In the future (always predictable) we will have other people (or, the same) rotating in and around Rob as he sees fit or whoever is available.




Ok, I got to talk about the trophies and jazz, I mentioned silly punctuation errors on signs, (Waldorf and Statler made an appearance – I had to put that there) and now I was going to talk about some of the beers that we have on right now. So, I might as well talk about some of the beers that we have on right now.



We were lucky enough to get some of the 2015 version of the beer that made Milwaukee famous. That’s the first joke I’ve told today. Serious, we have Dry Hopped Saison Dupont on tap right now and if you’re a fan of Saison Dupont then you should probably get in here and drink this because we don’t have much. It’s the legendary Saison, well, dry hopped.


We’ve had Frost Beer Work’s Another IPA on for a second and we’ll be pouring their More IIPA (that’s not a typo – there’s two eyes), which is their double IPA. Judging by their “normal” IPA I think it’s safe to assume that this will be a tasty beast.


Hill Farmstead Foster is about to go on and that’s pretty exciting because it’s been a minute since we’ve had it on tap. It’s a Black Wheat India Ale. I shouldn’t have said it that way. It’s a Wheat India Black Ale, you know, instead of being a Black Wheat IPA because the “P” would be false and that would be a lie and I’m only lying to you once today and I’ve already spent it.


Speaking of Hops (were we?). Soon come you’ll have the opportunity to get to drink Prairie Artisanal’s Prairie Hop which is basically their delicious Saison only hopped a little more for your pleasure.


We’ll also be pouring Ninkasi’s Total Domination IPA pretty soon as well which basically is me continuing on about talking about hops and how they make beer not as sweet as it would be without hops but when you use specific hops they kind of make the beer have a “sweetness” to them.







Ok friends: I hope these aforementioned words found you happy and healthy and I hope to see you and the kids (might be the only time they get to see TWO championship trophies at ONCE) this Saturday to celebrate the accomplishments of the Boston Red Sox and the Greatest American Football team to ever grace the face of the Earth all the while donating money to the worthy cause of the Vermont Food Bank.








Force of Habit or Forcive Habit?

If you’re anything like me (dear all things that are holy I truly do not wish that upon you – I’m as boring as they come much to my lady’s chagrin) you like to remain active. Activity is one of the things I look forward to the most in life, whether it be running or hiking or getting talked into hoping onto a bicycle (which is a tricycle with two wheels). When the inevitable sidesteps happen and there are stretches where I can not be active it affects me deeply. Probably more so because I can’t drink (as much) beer during that time because I have this promise with myself that I need to “earn” my rewards. Anyway, being active is essential to the overall human body and growth of said body and it would just about ruin me if there were a long term problem that occurred so that I could not move that body in an activity manner.  

That is why we’re (and you’re) going to help in any way shape and form that we can when there is a company out there that’s helping people who have encountered these long term problems to remain active and to pursue the things in their lives that mean the most to them. Next Tuesday, the 18th of August we are going to donate 10% of ALL OF OUR BAR SALES THROUGHOUT THE DAY to the Challenged Athletes Foundation. To let you know where your patronage is going: our friend Angie Scott is riding her bicycle from San Francisco to San Diego (those are both in California), which is 650 Miles in 7 days. I will not being doing that. She will though. And she’s doing this for the victims of the Boston Marathon bombing.


What CAF (Challenged Athletes Foundation) does is offer grants in the form of prosthetic limbs, hand cycles, rigged up mountain bikes for those once active – then injured or illness diagnosed with the opportunity to enjoy movement and sport again. Please click on the word “here” if you’d like to know more about them.


So, we hope to see you here NEXT TUESDAY to show some support by buying drinks. We’re hoping to do one of these about once a month so keep your eyes peeled for future causes that we basically trick you into donating to because all you’re doing is coming in a seeing us and we’re turning around and taking 10% of what you pay for and diverting towards a good cause.



Part two of the segment here today (is that a redundancy?) is to discuss Hop Jam. It’s a pretty amazing festival with the aforementioned adjective about beer as well as some pretty crazy music going on. I’m sure you know all about it but I wanted to let you know that there are still spots available to volunteer if you’re interested. There’s some pretty awesome incentives to do so (like being able to be there for free and all) but I’ll leave that here and hope that you can join us there.




So – now for the beer that you’ll be able to see on tap at our place – here’s the run down on what you may or may not see right now.



Zero Gravity Little Wolf: I really enjoy it when people tell a “smart joke” and I get it because it makes me smile. Humulus Lupulus (hops) is translated from Latin to be “Little Wolf.” That’s what all of that me studying Latin got me. Anyway, this is an American Pale Ale from the ZG and it’s lovely. And, at 4.7% it’s right in a wheelhouse when I’ve “earned” it.


Hermit Thrush Sour Brown is about to go on and it’s a Flemish Style Brown (akin to Rodenbach that you’ve had). It’s nice and I hope you like it too. It likes you.


As if we even need to mention: there’s a good deal of Hill Farmstead in draft (draught) right now with some goodies from Lawson’s as well coming in this week.



Some people have been asking me what goes through my head when I’m writing these. Well, this week? This. For no reason whatsoever.


That should about blow your mind for a week or so. I couldn’t tell them apart. Now, I can.



That’s about it from me folks so keep on keeping on and I’ll catch you on the flipside.





Thisiswhatmywifecallsmyunhealthyobsession andthisisherhealthyobsession Taproom

Subversive but transparent...

I need help, folks. Well, in more ways than one but this time I just need assistance in a specific avenue that requires assuage. You see, I want to get into marketing, specifically slogans that we can use here at Three Penny. The catch is I am a stickler for not using something that’s already been used before; I don’t believe is making people chew the same piece of cabbage twice, you know?  

So I need something that’s finger-licking good. Something about eating fresh, something that explains what we “got.” I mean, we’ve got almost 50 Billion Served by now so that should warrant us talking about how much people are loving it. Maybe something musical? Something that goes “dum dum dum” at the end of the slogan so that people get used to that tone over and over again and it’ll just keep going and going and going and going. Or maybe a picture of a little girl carrying an umbrella that is seemingly protecting her from the fact that it’s raining salt on her and that can’t be good. Or, just straight up “Taproom Taproom” or “Yo quiero Three Penny!”


But something tells me there’s no such thing as an original thought and that those have been done before. So, I guess I just need to think different and just do it. I mean, once the ideas come to me they’ll just pop and I won’t be able to stop. But how do you spell relief from that? I mean, you’ll be in good hands but where’s the beef with the content of our message? I love chicken too and I love liver and somehow I’m just going to have to deliver for our customers. What would YOU do for the Taproom bar?


How would you market that? I mean, I think we’re grrrrrrreeeat! I think you do too. So maybe I don’t need to quit my job and go back to school for marketing and advertising and walk a mile for a camel just to come up with a good slogan for us. Maybe all I’ll do is dress up in all red with big red ears and a white belly with a weird mask and make pizza cold. Maybe that’s my angle. You can have it your way that way. Cool. That’s what I’ll do, I’ll just keep on keeping on and go with the flow and let you know what we’ve got for you in terms of beer.



Thanks for your help. I needed that.



So I’ll market the fact that we have a wonderful Kolsch (don’t call it that! It can’t be a Kolsch unless it’s from Cologne!) on right now from Ballast Point out of California. That’s where it’s made. And then we get it and then you drink the loveliness that is this straw colored ale brewed basically like a light and airy pilsner. Let’s call it a “Kolsch Style” so that person who speaks in parenthesis doesn’t come back (works for me).


Zero Gravity Double Down will be on soon as well and it’s not very often that we have a Double IPA from Zero Gravity and if history has proven anything to me it is that you should never wage a land war in Asia and always know that whatever Zero Gravity makes in golden like the town in Colorado (Color – A – Do).


Hill Farmstead Susan is on and should be for a couple of days but don’t wait those couple of days because it might not last for a couple of days and it’s an American IPA but you knew that.


We’re also pouring Lost Nation’s The Wind, which is perfectly marketed as their Gose that’s been dry-hopped with grapefruit and Citra hops. Because, that’s exactly what it tastes like. Man I love their Gose.


It also Gose without saying that we have the Dirty Mayor going on soon as well and that just about makes you the happiest person in the room reading this.




Well, folks, thanks again for all of your help. I’ll compile all that was said during the creation of this memorandum and get back to each and every one of you individually so please let me know what time(s) work for you. K?



Sincerely and Accordingly,



Justbehappyididn’tdothisentireemailabout80sdowopBillyJoelyou’vebeenwarned Taproom



Mr. Parentheses Guy wants a Post Script: (thank you. It should be mentioned that there’s about 24 references to Advertising Slogans and the like up there if you feel like counting. Also, I just made up a new word today; it’s called “plagiarism.”)


INT: LOCKROOM: a hockey team enters (of course it’s a hockey team) muttering amongst themselves in inaudible jargon. Most of the players have towels around their necks and the general mood is solemn. All players sit into seemingly assigned stalls and begin their “mid-period” rituals of taking tape off, putting tape on, adjusting their equipment, et cetera. THE COACH enters last and the crowd of players are silent.  

COACH: (pauses)





All right boys.



Good period. Good fighting. Good efforts out there. We can do this. We’re just an inch away from taking this to them.



But we have to get better.




THE COACH walks over to a white board (the kind that has the already there circles and lines that you would see on a hockey rink) and writes, “LAWSON’S CASK ON FRIDAY.”



COACH (CONT’D): We got to have a Lawson’s Cask on Friday and it’s got to be tapped in the morning so the most amount of people can try it. And, it’s got to be the collaboration between Lawson’s and Carrier Roasting. Let’s make sure it’s an English Style Dark Mild made with coffee from those awesome dudes from Carrier Roasting. All right? All right?






COACH: And we have to give back! We’ve got to give back to the people that are making the most difference.






COACH (CONT’D): We have to dig deep and give back to these guys, these guys right here. We have to donate 10% of our bar sales for NEXT TUESDAY to these guys. They’re making the difference and helping our kids. It’s for the kids, guys. The Kids! You got it?!?




COACH: All right. All right. We keep doing these things and we’ll get a big old “W” for our team. And we’ll see the fruits of our labor.


THE COACH writes “LORENZ/CARR/MORSE” on the board.


COACH (CONT’D): You see these names? These are big names. These guys are going to be playing here, right here, at 11 PM this Friday night. You like guitar/drums/trumpet don’t you? Don’t you?






COACH: Well then get here and do it! 11 PM Friday night! That’s what it takes gentlemen!





Let’s calm down and focus.



THE COACH writes, “INNER FIRE DISTRICT” on the board.



COACH (CONT’D): You remember this name, right? You remember their indescribable ways, right? Well, if it didn’t get you here Friday night then maybe me telling you that Inner Fire District is playing here Saturday night at 11 PM. That’s right, gentlemen, they’re playing HERE!


Now, who’s going to come and get a CASK of Lawson’s and Carrier Roasting here on Friday?




COACH: And who’s going to come in next Tuesday and help donate 10% of Bar SALES to the Girls/Boys First Mentoring program?




COACH: And who’s coming to see the Lorenz/Carr/Morse on Friday night?




COACH: And, after that, who’s psyched to come see Inner Fire District here on Saturday night?









THE PLAYERS leave the LOCKERROOM with a bunch of hoots and hollers and THE COACH remains with his ASSISTANT COACH.


COACH (to the ASSISTANT COACH): Sometimes, Sully, this job just makes me smile. Now remember to pinch Kipper on the second line power, he’s been up to far in the zone and we can’t get him his shot from beyond the circle.





Both men leave.







That’swhathappenswhenIhavealottotellyouabout Taproom

ICYMI FYI - Montbeelier...



I’ve just written this about five times trying to be “short” and “to the point” but I’m having a very hard time so I’m just going to come right out and say it so that I can just come right out and say it and then you’ll know it and then we’ll both (you and me, dear reader (does anyone with literary knowledge know where I’m getting this reference from? There’s an author out there (it’s probably rudimentary and I’m probably over thinking this right here) who would refer to the reader (that’s you) as “dear, reader” but I’m having a hard time remembering. It’s probably a whole host of different people/writers and I’m just pigeon holing one person.) know all about it and then we can plan on being here this weekend.




That, and this morning I got yelled at on the street. They (the person yelling) told me that I’m condescending (that means I talk “down” to people).




Here it is:





Which means that it’s OUR BIRTHDAY THIS FRIDAY!!!


In order to celebrate our birthday we’re having a massive outside party (that’s what Montbeerlier is, if this is your first time – that’s not condescending, right?) with music, casks, beer, a whole array of different food options and general good times.



So: 3 (three) to nine (9) this Saturday in our back yard. Be here.


The Full Cleveland is playing.


Lake Superior is playing.


The Mad Mountain Scramblers are playing.



Outside, we’ll have around 15 DIFFERENT casks from DIFFERENT breweries. We’ll have our collaboration beer with Lost Nation (which is a FANTASTIC Kellerpils (unfiltered Pilsner) dry hopped with Sorachi hops) and a couple of other fun little ditties.


Inside, I’m “stacking the lines” (reasoning for the “rabbit ears:” I kind of don’t like that term because I always try to have the best possible draft list for anyone who walks through our door – but, there’s a couple of things that I purchase throughout the year that I keep and save just for our Birthday). So, our draft list will be a little heavy on the awesome, sorry.



That’s about it friends.




I really hope I see each and every one of your smiling faces this weekend so that I may kiss your pretty faces of redundancy.





With Kind Regards,



LucifersonofthemorningI’mgonnachaseyouofftheearthhasbeenstuckinmyheadforDAYSandprobablybecausei’vealwayswantedanironshirt Taproom